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[–]Jaded 22 insightful - 1 fun22 insightful - 0 fun23 insightful - 1 fun -  (2 children)

I think it's not a particularly useful concept for lesbians, however with the increase in gender politics and the insistence that clothing=sex, I think tomboys are increasingly important in feminist discourse and for fighting against gender essentialism.

So yes, I agree that we should not promote the idea that tomboy=lesbian any more than tomboy=secretly wants to transition. However we can still acknowledge that lesbians are more likely to be gender nonconforming since we are less invested in performative femininity.

[–]yayblueberries 8 insightful - 1 fun8 insightful - 0 fun9 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

we are less invested in performative femininity

This is a huuuuuge part of it. I'm not trying to look like a man, and I'm not a butch lesbian, but I sure as hell don't need to perform femininity for any man, so I am wearing jeans and t-shirts because the lesbians I have known don't expect their women to wear what men like. So I wear what I'm comfortable in. And it just so happens to make me look tomboyish. (But I look way better with long hair so I keep it long.)

I think it's not such much the idea that tomboy=lesbian that's the problem as so much that the hetero world right now is consumed with making sure their women look like Kardashians. It seems like hetero women are not at all ALLOWED to be tomboys. If you want to go work out outside it's like form fitting clothing to show off your ass is almost prescribed. And it seems like you are considered trash if you go to a store underdressed.

[–]reluctant_commenter 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I completely agree with your take.

I don't have any ill-will towards straight women who dress like tomboys. It makes sense to me to dress that way lol, I'm glad they're able to enjoy it too! I think, also, that there is a heavy pressure for them to look a certain way. I was in a relationship with a guy before I realized I was gay, and it seemed like a major social status thing for a guy to be dating an "attractive" woman (I saw this firsthand and felt this pressure). I think a lot of this pressure for heterosexual women to dress up comes from the men who want social status points, which is disgusting... Just my 2cents.