Well, not enough of us have self defence or weapons training of any kind, not that I am advocating for it or anything, but I think women feel more likely to be targets of actual male violence. And also women generally seem to have more empathy for other minorities etc, gay men have a history of being straight up beaten and abandoned by society, including their families. Probably not as much now as in the past, but they are less likely to be worried about looking bad in a world that is indifferent to hateful toward them. Gay men are still being killed for being gay in some places. I’m personally not afraid of being a dyke everyone hates but I have years fight training and whatnot.

But where I live it’s illegal to exclude people based on gender identity and it would absolutely ruin a business if the public heard about it, even if it was just a bar for lesbians. It’s not that you can’t decide who comes into your establishment, but the constant harassment and protests would make it way harder. People are much more horrible to women than they would dare to be to men.

Edit: So it is not so simple to blame ourselves exclusively. We should have better boundaries on an individual level, but this has become a societal problem now. I mean being shut down for being considered “bigots” or “terfs” or whichever group it is that counters the popular narrative. Even vegans get businesses shut down where I live. Lol

Edit again: Also, not all trans ppl and non-lesbians are horrible. The majority are fine and don’t cause problems as individuals, but something seems to happen when there is some indication of “exclusion” or “bigot terfs” and people stop using their brains and just attack without thinking. I have friends who are totally cool but become rabid nutcases over this issue. It’s definitely like a borg collective