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[–]yousaythosethings 14 insightful - 2 fun14 insightful - 1 fun15 insightful - 2 fun -  (3 children)

It only bothers me if there are signs of coercion, deceit, disrespect of boundaries generally. I wouldn’t assume without further indication in a particular situation that the bi woman is not acting out of her own agency. That’s pretty infantilizing of women and a pretty conservative view of female sexuality. I’m a pretty sexual person and my sex drive has nothing to do with men. I do think it’s disrespectful to ask lesbians specifically to participate in a threesome with a dude because that’s disrespectful of what homosexuality is.

At the same time, I can’t blame bi women for wanting to have their cake and eat it too if that’s an option for them. They should just stick to other bi women for threesomes though. Also, a lot of bi women only want to have a threesome with another woman but not another man because the latter situation can be physically intimidating, threatening, or uncomfortable. I’ve heard this sentiment a lot.

All that being said, I don’t even know how a FFM threesome would work. Seems that the guy with his refractory period would kind of just get in the way.

[–]Astrid2448[S] 7 insightful - 2 fun7 insightful - 1 fun8 insightful - 2 fun -  (2 children)

When did I ever say she didn’t have agency in it? Many times she does. I specifically made it clear that a lot of these girls do it because they love being seen as cool, sexy, unique and spicy. When I say “the guy is in charge”, I mean that he is the dominant one in the relationship overall and gets the final say on what to do. There are PLENTY of women being pressured into things like this by their partners as well, but I’m aware that many of them enjoy being fetishized and like being seen as sexy sexy lesbians, or at least look the other way bc "hubby loves my bisexuality!"

[–]yousaythosethings 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

I don't really disagree with the things you're saying or that what you're addressing is not problematic or annoying. I just want to put my perspective out there too. Bi women and threesomes are a common topic of discussion and this is just how I feel about bisexual/questioning women and threesomes. Given my own personal history and the difficulty I felt in coming to terms with my own sexual orientation even after knowing I was attracted to girls when I was a teenager, I am more oriented toward being conscious of the inadvertent effect of causing women questioning their sexuality to feel discouraged from exploring their same-sex attraction because attitudes like some of those experienced here are part of what kept me in denial about my sexual orientation and from exploring it.

[–]sootsprite 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I don't think anyone here minds if a bi girl wants to have a mff threesome, they just think they shouldn't harass lesbians about it since they're generally not interested in any sexual activity involving a boyfriend