My impression is that they don't want to be just ANY cool thing; note how they never claim accomplishments-- being a self-made millionaire, say, or a Harvard graduate... or even a witch. They seem uninterested in any identity that you can BECOME. Rather, what they claim is invariably an intrinsic quality: a sexuality, a "gender"... some aspect of individual personality, essentially. Not anything that you do; more just... who you are. The sort of stuff that can't be taught or learned, that you simply either have or you don't.

THAT is what they're going for, I think. Being inherently interesting. Except, of course: 1.] they aren't; and 2.] this isn't something that you can claim to be, anyway-- you know you are only if others recognize it in you, right? When one person after another finds you-- simply on the basis of your personality-- interesting; compelling; charming. It's like a nickname: you can't give it to yourself. So no wonder they're forever harassing people! But coercion doesn't work here: no matter what you force them to say, if people don't genuinely see you as interesting, then by definition... you're not.

Let's put it this way: have you ever heard of the "Mary Sue" phenomenon? Fictional characters whom the creator depicts as awesomeness personified... but in a strictly tell-don't-show manner? So it's just a claim with nothing to back it up? And the audience finds them thoroughly obnoxious as a result?

Well, the gender-people are real-life Marys Sues. Right down to their penchant for oh-so-Speshul, not-found-in-nature hair colors.