It must be psychological torture to go from being someone who men paid to be with to someone who must desperately ask for tips on landing a man.

I've noticed that women who do various lines of sex work tend to like socializing with the gay community, and I know of at least two FTM people who did stripping, porn, and escorting/prostitution before transitioning. My theory is they find the gay men easier to deal with than the men who make up their clientele, and the ones I knew would talk fondly of gay men who were kind to them, helped them out etc.

Edit:This could lead to them identifying with and becoming emotionally and sexually interested in gay men, seeing them as a better alternative to heterosexual men.

Life "as a woman" might furthermore seem false to them because they would have to take on false airs as they performed for their clients. Whether they find these men attractive or agreeable is irrelevant in sex work; they must perform certain acts to get paid, and they may have to mold their personalities to fit the situation the clients are looking for (e.g. being submissive or dominant). They may think living as a gay man would allow them a better chance to become romantically involved with the gay male friend groups they have, as well as providing them an opportunity to escape the "falseness" they attribute to heterosexuality in their line of work. This may be the "loving men as a gay man" that some FTM people are talk about.

I'm not saying gay men are all these sweet, otherworldly angels that poor widdle women can't help but fall head over heels in love with. But I do think that these are factors that may play into certain FTM women's stories.

I think about a car ride I shared with one woman (who I like on a personal level, despite displaying a lot of the behaviors we talk about here) who shared stories of how difficult life with her ex-husband was, and how sex work was always striking a balance between making very good money and dealing with unpredictable and sometimes frightening clients. She liked hanging out with gay guys, and told me that she thought one of my friends was very handsome and sweet.