So the only way she would land an acting role this big is to bully people into giving it to her.

Yeah, that's what this argument is too often. It's not "Why aren't you giving trans actors roles?" it's "Why aren't you giving ME roles?". Same thing with the guy who did The Problem With Apu, you could tell throughout the documentary that the guy was blatantly gunning for the role

The only one where I can see it being semi legitimate is when it comes to disability, because it feels like they do genuinely get screwed. But even then, surely we should be aiming for opening up the roles available to disabled actors, rather than making it so they can basically only play the same role with the same stories. Like instead of making it so the blind character in a story about someone living with blindness HAS to be played by a blind actor, we could give them roles like sarcastic best friend, who happens to be blind.