People like this are just existing on a very surface level of understanding issues. They think that this is an issue of "being nice". You can see this in the way any disagreement gets called "hateful". The unemotional objective analysis of gender self ID gets called emotional while they insist their purely emotional arguments are "science".

Their argument is like insisting that a virus is a fine part of a healthy body because the virus feels like it should be part of your cells and have free access to your replication proteins. They only look at the individual virus and complain "how can you make this poor virus feel sad?" While completely ignoring the fact that it will kill the cell and possibly the entire body if not stopped.