BisexualActing as if 'bisexual' is a forbidden word

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[–]wafflegaffWoman. SuperBi. 5 insightful - 1 fun5 insightful - 0 fun6 insightful - 1 fun -  (3 children)

I've advocated for a different term for those okay with dating trans people, because that has never been the definition of bisexual and TRAs trying to force it to mean something that includes them automatically excludes actual bisexual people who know what the word means and use it correctly, and for whom it is a relevant term about their lives and identities (so radically changing it, as TRAs keep trying to do, is just plain harmful). I won't budge on this. So yeah, they need a different term, and I don't care what it is, as long as it isn't co-opting an existing term that already means something else.

Otherwise we keep getting looked at as some sort of all-access venue for pursuit (or bullying or coercion) by people who have changed themselves in ways that make them fundamentally not fit what the term means anymore. That is not our problem, and our term(s) have as much importance as "lesbian" and "gay man" do for those groups. We shouldn't have to defend or explain this. (My ire is not directed at you, of course. I'm just tired of this lazy, bisexual-erasure, they're-attracted-to-everybody nonsense.)

[–]nosympathy 10 insightful - 1 fun10 insightful - 0 fun11 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

because that has never been the definition of bisexual

the definition of bisexual is a person attracted to both males and females. everyone in the world, including trans people, are either male or female.

bisexual-erasure

you're the one seemingly ok with bisexual erasure as long as the target is a bisexual person you don't like or relate to.

[–]wafflegaffWoman. SuperBi. 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

You should re-read your arguments above and find their flaws before proceeding. Projection and hand-wavy blurring of distinctions won't work here.

[–]reluctant_commenter 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

(My ire is not directed at you, of course. I'm just tired of this lazy, bisexual-erasure, they're-attracted-to-everybody nonsense.)

All good, thank you for explaining your thoughts! I guess there needs to be some sort of distinction between, "people who are attracted to both sexes could be attracted to trans-identified people" vs. "all people who are attracted to both sexes are into trans-identified people." I do think there is real harm in suggesting that transgender people are "bisexual people's problem" as the phrasing of some users here might imply (intentionally or unintentionally). But I also think it's important to have a universally-agreed-upon term for people who are attracted to both sexes, and in most contexts (not TQ+ ones, and maybe not some bisexual communities?) that term tends to be "bisexual".

For me I guess, the way I think of it is, I might not be into a woman (female person, to be crystal clear) who has gone through a lot of transgender medicalization, but I wouldn't try to find a different word to describe lesbian women who are fine with that vs. those who don't. I am not really up to speed on the popularity of terms like bisexual vs. pansexual, though, perhaps bi people in general might think differently. I think u/PeakingPeachEater may have done an in-depth discussion post about this topic a while back, if you haven't seen it already.