LifestyleNot knowing if you can continue living in a world of Gender Woo as a Gender Critical person?

submitted by Kai_Decadence from (self.LGBDropTheT)

So this is something that has really made me think after I came out as gender critical to my last friend who didn't know I was gender critical and ended up leaving me. That was the last of my small amount of friends that I had and I'm not 100% on my own (this happened a few weeks ago). All the people who I used to call friends no longer want to be associated with me and think I'm a "transphobe" because I don't believe in transgenderism or non-binary.

I knew that this was the risk I had to come to terms with if I came out publicly with my views band I knew there was a chance that I'd lose everyone which seems to have happened. Yeah I have my family but with the exception of my brother, my father doesn't know about my views and I don't think he would have much of an opinion since he's of older age anyway.

And really, I just started to reflect more on my what my life was and has been like. I never had much of a social circle growing up as a painfully shy, anxiety riddled, feminine presenting gay man. I came to terms that life this way was gonna be tough but adding in gender critical views definitely added another layer to it.

After I got canceled from the few prominent Goth groups and one gay group I used to be very active on because of my "transphobia", it's really made me uncertain about my future and whether I have a place in this world to continue it. This sounds very dark I know but it's how I feel and how I felt even before I became fully gender critical. My dating life is non-existent and it's even more complicated because the few guys who claim to be into feminine presenting guys like me expect me to swallow trans dogma and not consider myself a man because they're too insecure to accept that they're homosexual or bisexual and even then, dating as a feminine presenting gay man is an uphill battle in general. I've never had a boyfriend and I'll be 30 this year, been out since I was 15 and with the way things are going, I don't foresee myself ever having a relationship. It doesn't help that I don't know of any feminine presenting gay men who are in healthy, happy relationships neither. A lot of the feminine presenting gay men I've seen either drop the feminine look and become more masculine presenting or they swallow the delusional trans ideology and become "transwomen". So yeah, I don't feel like I'll ever have a love life.

And now concerning friendships, I used to be drawn to the alternative and nerdy communities. Goths, Punks, Alternative people, Geeks, etc. Those were the crowds I used to feel so comfortable being around even though I never made a ton of friends from them. But these crowds of people are some of the most complacent when it comes to trans ideology and shun and turn their pitchforks on people who don't buy into transgenderism. So now it feels like I can't even tr to make friends and connections in these communities because I know that if they find out that I'm gender critical, they're just gonna ostracize me. So now even with platonic friendships, I can't see myself ever having these again.

But yeah, i just feel like I'm gonna be living a lonesome life for the rest of my days and sometimes I do feel like maybe it's best ot just go out. Like there is still some things I want to do as far as gender critical content is concerned. I know that guys like myself can really help in this fight against the gender woo. I want to publish a few videos meant to get people to really see through the lies and deception that is transgender ideology as well as help gay and lesbian youths who are being lead down this path of deception and glorified conversion therapy. I'm so grateful that there are women and lesbians talking about this stuff and helping younger girls but this isn't being done as much with gay men. YouTubers Mr. Meno and Arty have done great work but I really wanna throw my own hat into the ring as a feminine presenting gay man to help with this push against gender woo as well because I feel like someone like me can really drive the point home as well just like the masculine presenting lesbians who've helped so many younger masculine presenting women. I sound so big-headed and I'm really trying not to be but I don't see any feminine presenting gender critical men and so I want to try to fill that area.

But honestly my current pllan is mostly just to push out a few videos to help with this push back and then depending on how things turn out, maybe just "pass on' (make of that as you will) because I don't know if I can really spend the rest of my life in loneliness. But I don't want to go down the delusional trans path or change myself into something I'm not and I would rather just end things on my own terms. Knowing that I lived my life with as much honesty as I could while being true to myself, I can pass on happily knowing I stayed true to myself before things really got worse .

Again, I know that's dark of me to admit but it's just how I've been feeling. II'm really just going through the motions. I just feel kinda alone and I don't feel like the future will be kind to someone like me what with already being seen as some sort of heretic. At the very least, I feel A LOT better getting all this out of my head. I don't want people to worry, I don't think anything will happen but you know, shower thoughts and whatnot, I just had to release it somewhere and I didn't want to do it in my usual hangouts because I know people will just twist it and go "Well maybe if you weren't transphobic, you wouldn't be shunned" and so n and so forth, the usual gaslighting.

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[–]oofreesouloo⚡super lesbian⚡ 24 insightful - 1 fun24 insightful - 0 fun25 insightful - 1 fun -  (5 children)

I'm so sorry you're feeling this way. This definitely broke my heart. I'm a lesbian and I've also had my lows in life and the trans ideology movement disencouraged me a lot as well. Because I already felt lots of difficulty when it comes to dating, because of it being so small and also because I am only attracted to femmes (unfortunately, I can't seem to find masculinity attractive, despite efforts). Trans ideology made it even harder because now it's femmes AND gender critical. I know what it's like to feel weird, different as well since a teenager. Feeling out of place, always trying to fit in. Even today, with 24 years old, I still struggle with this, but I'm trying to be more open. I know what it's like to feel hopeless as well and to feel like no one understands. I've never had a lesbian or bi girl friend till this day, so someone who would understand me. Obviously, girls I dated don't count. I mean like an actual friendship. Well, I did have a lesbian friend for a while but she was butch and she didn't understand me in some ways. So I've always felt like the black sheep. I still struggle and hope to get better each day. But I occasionally feel I have no one who understands me. So this place is really one of the few places I can count on. Just want to let you know that I care about you and I wished I could help you or at least be there for you in these hard times. You deserve better. And you deserve to be happy and have a fulfilling life. Please, hang in there. I truly hope you never forget how beautiful you are and that you are worthy of being here.

[–]Kai_Decadence[S] 10 insightful - 1 fun10 insightful - 0 fun11 insightful - 1 fun -  (4 children)

Aw thank you. I'm so sorry you've been going through hardships as well, it's just not fun at all but I think the main thing that really makes this so much worse is that the places that people like us used to be accepted in are no longer like that anymore because they've swallowed trans dogma hard time and they'll oust and ostracize anyone who doesn't follow the cult-like mentality. It's just terrible... But yeah it's great that this is one of the very few places where people like us can feel safe in so I'm grateful for that. It's just that online can only do so much and you're gonna eventually want to speak with people in real life you know?

[–]oofreesouloo⚡super lesbian⚡ 7 insightful - 1 fun7 insightful - 0 fun8 insightful - 1 fun -  (3 children)

It's just that online can only do so much and you're gonna eventually want to speak with people in real life you know?

Yes, I totally understand you, believe me. I'm dying to have some irl gay friends, but in my degree it's basically 90% mostly straight men and the other 10% it's women, majority straight as well. It's not an "easy environment" to meet lgb people such as with an arts degree for example.

Hang in there <3

[–]Nani 7 insightful - 1 fun7 insightful - 0 fun8 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

I'm assuming you're also in STEM and in my experience there are actually a lot of LB women, we are just largely somewhat closeted in the work environment as many professors don't even truely accept women in that environment.

[–]oofreesouloo⚡super lesbian⚡ 5 insightful - 1 fun5 insightful - 0 fun6 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Yes, I am lol. That's great to know! I have thought about that before, but it's just so few of us that I don't meet that much women to know... And yes, at least I don't feel very comfortable to be out due to the environment. I know that in another environment, namely with more women, it would be much easier.

[–]Kai_Decadence[S] 7 insightful - 1 fun7 insightful - 0 fun8 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I can imagine lol But I mean at least you don't have to deal with gender extremists because those people tend to be all over the art world... lol And I'll try :)

[–]usehername 19 insightful - 2 fun19 insightful - 1 fun20 insightful - 2 fun -  (4 children)

Kai. Please don't deprive the world of your beautiful smile. I don't really have a way with words, but anyone who would try to make you feel less than just for being yourself is truly pathetic. Men like you are special and rare. I don't know what to say to you as far as dating goes, but your worth is immeasurable and I think the work you've been doing is amazing. Just take care of yourself. If this is too much for you, it's okay to step away from the fight.

[–]Kai_Decadence[S] 12 insightful - 2 fun12 insightful - 1 fun13 insightful - 2 fun -  (3 children)

Thank you, I do appreciate the kind words. I'm admittedly in a downer spot at this time but knowing myself, I'll more than likely bounce back soon. I just needed to vent because after losing the one last person who I thought would at least understand my point of view just really got to me.

[–]usehername 13 insightful - 2 fun13 insightful - 1 fun14 insightful - 2 fun -  (1 child)

I was disowned by my family, so I know what it's like to lose people. I'm glad you have this place to vent. I don't really have anything comforting to say, just that I hope you stay safe.

[–]Kai_Decadence[S] 5 insightful - 2 fun5 insightful - 1 fun6 insightful - 2 fun -  (0 children)

Oh my I'm so sorry you went through that...

[–]usehername 9 insightful - 1 fun9 insightful - 0 fun10 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I guess what I actually should have said was that it's okay. I know you probably feel lonely and betrayed, but you're better off without people like that.

[–]Hannibalboy93 16 insightful - 2 fun16 insightful - 1 fun17 insightful - 2 fun -  (1 child)

You are not alone, we feel depressed about the situation too, I'm also a gay guy who voted for trump so I definitely get it. But we are fighting back, no one is really dating the gender ideologues or the neo-pronouns psychos either. More people agree with you, than you think. Stay strong.

[–]Kai_Decadence[S] 13 insightful - 1 fun13 insightful - 0 fun14 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Thank you and I know deep down you're right that there are more people who agree with us than what we realize but it's still just scary because for those of us who want to try to make friends, especially IRL, it's such a scary thing to do these days because you don't know if the person you're talking with is a gender extremist you know?

[–][deleted] 12 insightful - 1 fun12 insightful - 0 fun13 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I really empathize with you Kai, I understand what you're going through with feeling like your friends/peers don't understand and being alone. For me it was different reasons, but I've also voluntarily and involuntarily become more isolated over the years because of my beliefs.

You mentioned being shy and anxious growing up, and I getcha. Shy/anxious/depressed just about my entire life. I was also drawn to alternative communities as a result: nerds, goths, alt rockers, etc. I've cycled through many different understandings of who I am and what I want, and different groups that seemed to express it that I could be a part of ... and I've always found myself alone at the end of the day, and questioning what I could have done to change things.

Loneliness is really hard to feel and live with, and worms into our brains in some very insidious ways. I do want you to know you're not alone in that though, I hear what you're saying and have felt it too.

I don't know if you want advice/experience, or a friendly shoulder to lean on and get it all out, so I won't share more if you don't want it. I just really wanted to let you know that I'm here and I hear you, and I hope you hang on through the hurt and pain, and I believe in you coming out better on the other side. For whatever it's worth, I want you to stay and be here.

[–]IridescentAnacondastrictly dickly 11 insightful - 1 fun11 insightful - 0 fun12 insightful - 1 fun -  (3 children)

I'm more isolated these days than I want to be. I think that's true of most people. These are hard times.

Hang in there, the world needs your voice!

[–]Kai_Decadence[S] 11 insightful - 1 fun11 insightful - 0 fun12 insightful - 1 fun -  (2 children)

Right. I mean the Covid stuff doesn't help but still, with how much every person you meet seems to be in gender woo with no rhyme or reason, it's just scary. Like no joke, I went to a store earlier today and I saw a shirt in there that said "Trans rights are human rights". It's like freaking hell man, you can't avoid it lol. But thank you, I'm gonna try

[–]IridescentAnacondastrictly dickly 11 insightful - 1 fun11 insightful - 0 fun12 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

What I've learned in the last year is that a large majority of individuals are not in control of the space between their ears. Even people I thought were turned out not to be.

Just keep that in mind: it's not you, it's that a very large number of people have been brainwashed. It's scary.

[–]Kai_Decadence[S] 7 insightful - 1 fun7 insightful - 0 fun8 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Yeah I think I got a taste of that when I officially came out with my video where I exposed all my gender critical beliefs. I had a few people who did understand where I was coming from but a good many were outright offended and tried to challenge me with the usual arguments like the whole "Brain sex" stuff and "different cultures think this and/or that" and when I countered back, they only got angry and I was just thinking to myself about how brainwashed these people are that they can't handle the trans belief being criticized and potentially making sense though they don't want to believe it.

[–]Destresse🇨🇵 10 insightful - 1 fun10 insightful - 0 fun11 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

The world has wronged you. I don't know what else to say... I am part of those people who fight injustice and unfairness with pettiness and anger. It makes me angry. Why in the world should you be the one caving and disappearing when the world finds you unsightly? No one's entitled to your life. There are other angry unsightly people who you definitely belong with.

You know, I read this while sitting next to the water on a forest path with my dog sniffing grass behind me. And I thought about how far away and alone we all are, us "transphobic" LGB. How unfair is that? We're being isolated for daring to assert our right to, hah, how ironic, exist. The thing trans people constantly complain about. "OuR rIgHt tO eXiSt." Between us and them, we all know who are the ones living authentically. Are you going to give up existing? Are you going to let them have that win over you? Okay, that's a bit provocative and I sound like a sports coach lol. But, you have options, and disappearing is just what those deranged people want. People like you are on the front lines to be honest, so I can't imagine what it must be like for you. But if you go down, it's going to hit moral pretty damn hard. The fact you're still standing is inspiring hope in and of itself.

Here are some thoughts: You mentioned two other male youtubers who do gender critical stuff, why not come in contact with them and ask for a collab/an interview/I don't know what else? I've seen quite a lot of youtubers become fast friends when their share content and stuff, maybe it can help with the loneliness a bit.

Is there an LGB alliance where you're from, or any kind of gender critical LGB org? You could either volunteer to work with them (and make new nice colleagues) or they could help get you in contact with other gender critical LGBs in your area. With any luck there might gay men in the lot. In any case, it could be a good idea to get info on this front.

Also we'll have an LGB sub without all the TQ bull soon, so it'll be easier to connect in a more light-hearted way. There might be people on here who live close by too. I remember the recurrent "anyone living in X?" posts on r/truelesbians lol.

I've tried to write this as well as I could and I still feel like a failure. Comforting people is hard when you don't know them, so I'm deciding to publish this in a "hit or miss" state of mind.

I hope you will feel better soon.

[–]Kai_Decadence[S] 7 insightful - 1 fun7 insightful - 0 fun8 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Thank you for your perspective and advice. Admittedly I was in a pretty down mood when I wrote this post because I had been feeling this way ever since my last and only friend of my small few friends who dumped me when I released my video that pretty much confirmed I'm a GC gay man and how even before then when I tried to come out to some of these friends in private letting them know, how quickly they all just dropped me without even bothering to listen to why I had my views. So a few weeks ago when I told my last friend about my views because they didn't watch my video, she said that she was okay with it but then immediately stopped talking with me since then and it just really messed with my head because she was the last person I had who I considered a friend and now it's just completely silence. I'm feeling a lot better now though.

But yeah I get that not having people stand up prominently against this trans nonsense can make the fight difficult. We already felt that impact when we lost Magdalen Berns who was a force to be reckoned with and her courage was truly amazing but I will admit that sometimes it can be a little overwhelming with how brainwashed people are and having to hear how "transphobic" you are by pretty much everyone and it just makes me want to throw my hands up because these people are so full of it. They try to challenge your views and you take them up to bat and you counter and address every possible angle they try to throw at you and at the end of it, they still think they've won by calling you a "tRaNsPhObE" when they don't have any other arguments to throw at you.

Here are some thoughts: You mentioned two other male youtubers who do gender critical stuff, why not come in contact with them and ask for a collab/an interview/I don't know what else? I've seen quite a lot of youtubers become fast friends when their share content and stuff, maybe it can help with the loneliness a bit.

I'm definitely thinking of trying this when I get my Gay GC channel off the ground. I wanna try and wait till I have a few videos out that further explain my GC views as a gay man because so far I've only got one and it didn't really go into explicit detail about why I don't believe in transgenderism. But yeah once I do this, I'm gonna try to contact these gay male channels.

Is there an LGB alliance where you're from, or any kind of gender critical LGB org?

Unfortunately no, not locally at least. I did look up this one gay group that was in my city and it seemed promising but when I went to their FaceBook page and scrolled through some of the posts, I saw the "TRANS RIGHTS ARE HUMAN RIGHTS" posts in there and I was like "Nope...". That was the only active group that I saw in the city. I would try and start my own group but with how brainwashed so many people are, I don't think it would do well and I'd probably get made a target of people trying to get me to lose my job and I just don't want to deal with that right now you know?

Nonetheless, thank you for sharing your perspective, it definitely helped!

[–]GoValidateYourselfuseful lesbian 9 insightful - 1 fun9 insightful - 0 fun10 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

Kai this was so hard to read. 6 years ago I went through a bad spell of depression myself, even had a whole suicide plan. Looking back I'm so thankful I went to the health clinic instead of following through. It's hard to imagine a positive future when you're depressed, and with the schism happening in the gay community now, and feeling like the world has gone insane, it definitely adds to the stress. Please know that your life can change and get better in ways you never imagined. I never thought I'd meet anyone, but then I met and married the most amazing woman. I met gay friends who I never thought I'd meet. Finally people to relate to irl! Some of them don't agree with my gendercritical/radfem views but most, surprisingly do when you strip away all the labels and just talk about it in terms of policies and ideas. We also give each other space to disagree, and to just change the subject when we need to. That's okay too. I hope these things help you see that the loneliness and depression won't last forever, and life can change in wonderful, unexpected ways. Please don't do anything to yourself, try to talk to someone irl. Maybe a family member or a health professional. I only know you online, but I care and hope you think carefully before doing anything permanent.

[–]Kai_Decadence[S] 7 insightful - 1 fun7 insightful - 0 fun8 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Thank you for the adivce and kind words. I'm feeling a lot better now then I did when I wrote the post. Granted depression is something I've dealt with since middle school but I know that it doesn't have to last forever. You're right that it sometimes does feel hopeless since this trans madness has poisoned and riddled itself in gay spaces converting gays and lesbians to swallow it with no question. I think it was just a lot to take in when I started getting banned from the places I used to hang out in and chat with others and then seeing all these horrible things written about me and I had no way to defend myself since I was blocked. But I do want to keep trying and not give in or give up. I just need to remember that things can change in time and I'm hoping the same can happen for me as well and hopefully for the better.

I just don't have any personal friends or family I could talk to about this. I mean I've talked with my brother who's gay about my views and he thinks I'm crazy and "spend too much time on the internet" because he's not aware how trans is affecting women's rights and spaces (or he doesn't really care since he's not a woman and all his female friends are fine with trans-identified men using women only spaces). There is one person who I feel might not fully buy into trans but I'm not sure and I'm afraid if I talk with her about it, she'll just think I'm "transphobic" and I just don't think I can deal with another one of that right now. But yeah, I just don't have anyone IRL I can talk to about this stuff who agrees with me. If things do get worse, I'll more than likely just seek a mental health professional .

Hearing your story does give me hope though that maybe my life can turn around too. Thank you for sharing yours, it really helped.

[–]hufflepuff-poet 9 insightful - 1 fun9 insightful - 0 fun10 insightful - 1 fun -  (2 children)

It's hard being a gender non-conforming homosexual add on being Black, and it's the original definition of "pick a struggle 😣", I'm a black gnc lesbian and it's tough out here for people like us. I'm sorry you're feeling isolated and like life isn't worth living right now, please know that it gets better, even if the only thing that gets better each day is your outlook on life, life is hard and somedays I feel like it might be better to just take an eternal nap but then the sky looks so beautiful, can you imagine never seeing a sunset again? Somedays that thought is the only thing keeping me going, I hope it can help you too. Please know you deserve to live and thrive, you are worth another day of trying, I would miss you--your comments and videos have been ao grounding, to know there are others like me out in the world and we all see the truth, please don't turn away from the reality we all have to face each day, your presence here makes each day a little more bearable.

[–]Kai_Decadence[S] 4 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 0 fun5 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Thank you. Yeah it's been a struggle for sure and sometimes it can be a little overwhelming but I know that there is a silver lining to these kinds of things, there just has to be. But thanks again, your comment helped. :)

[–]Elvira95Viva la figa 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I'm curios: are there racial problems in the women to women community in USA? In the gay community race seems a big problem dating for black and asian minority. Is that the same among women? I live in all this white place, so I'm totally ignorant of racial dynamics.

[–]Elvira95Viva la figa 8 insightful - 1 fun8 insightful - 0 fun9 insightful - 1 fun -  (7 children)

I have thought about suicide many times in my life. I've been suffering for disabling anxiety disorders since I was a young kid, and I often look at my future and don't see myself happy. I see the chances of finding someone right in a super small dating poll are slim, and worst if you are miniroty in a minority. But I kinda try to accept it, as I am selective myself, and wouldn't want a relationship just for the sake of it. I know relationships are a strong biological desire, but they can't be seen as essential. Our life worth cannot depend on someone else.Find a purpose. Maybe your purpose is to become a famous youtuber and represent feminine gay men, which is necessary and you could help others people. Don't kill yourself. I know life is hard and I wished my parents just had used a condom rather than putting effort to having a child, but it is what it is. Life is short, and even though can be tough, especially for the most sensitive of us, it's not smart to checkout early. as we don't know how the future will be. It might be much better than we can even imagine, but we won't live it if we stop living.

[–]Kai_Decadence[S] 6 insightful - 1 fun6 insightful - 0 fun7 insightful - 1 fun -  (6 children)

I'm so sorry that you go through all this but I do understand, I have autism and my anxiety was/is pretty bad as well so I get the struggle. I won't lie, part of me does hope that I can become a representation of a feminine presentng gay men who can help spread the message that it's okay to be this way. Granted it has made my life a little rough since unfortunately feminine presenting men are just not seen as that much of a positive thing but still, "transing" out is not to fix this. It's not progressive neither. So I'm hoping that as I continue to talk about my experiences as well as address why trans is such a lie, it'll do some good for the LGB community but especially the LGB youths who are growing up being indoctrinated into this trans crap.

[–]Elvira95Viva la figa 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (5 children)

Thanks. Do you have youtube videos?

[–]Kai_Decadence[S] 7 insightful - 1 fun7 insightful - 0 fun8 insightful - 1 fun -  (4 children)

Yep! I currently have 2 channels, one for Goth & Music and another for Video Games. And I'll be having a third channel where I expand more on my gender-critical views as well as other LGB topics.

And when I get finished with this other video I'm working out where I explain why I don't believe in Transgenderism, I'll share the link to my third channel :)

[–]Elvira95Viva la figa 7 insightful - 1 fun7 insightful - 0 fun8 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

You're cute as fuck.The goth style is great

[–]Kai_Decadence[S] 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Aw thank you haha

[–]our_team_is_winning 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

Really looking forward to that third channel and all your new videos!!!

[–]Kai_Decadence[S] 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Thanks! I really wanna get them started but I'm currently in a bit of a tricky living situation right now but I'm hoping to get things into motion hopefully by the end of this month or in October because I really wanna get that follow up video done lol.

[–]HelloMomo 7 insightful - 1 fun7 insightful - 0 fun8 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

All I can say is that I really do feel like we're reaching a tipping point.

JK Rowling spoke up, Keira Bell won her case, the LGB Alliance got charity status, Abigail Shrier published Irreversible Damage and it became an instant best-seller, Helen Joyce published Trans and it also became an instant best-seller. Think of how recent all these things are! Compare the top gender critical moments of 2018 with the top gender critical moments of 2020, and you'll see a difference. We're in the "darkest before the dawn" phase right now; I know things are still really bad, but the backlash is starting to arrive.

In my darkest moments, I rage about how I'm loosing my youth to the gender madness (and also to covid, but that's another story). I'm as young and hot as I'm ever going to be, and I can't even date anyone because of this bullshit! (Never mind that I'm a socially awkward turtle who probably would have trouble dating in any timeline.) But even in my darkest moments, I never fear this the start of a new dark age. I have no doubts that trans ideology will run itself out. As soon as the public understands what's really going on here, with sterilizing children and putting rapists in women's prisons and whatnot, public opinion is going to dry up. And I think anyone's whose remotely aware of things knows that. That's why Buck Angel and Blaire Whites are the way they are: they both know the backlash is coming, and they're basically trying to do damage control.

Suicide is a permanent solution to temporary problem, and I promise this is temporary. Not temporary in the fast way we'd like, but temporary in the sense of if you let your natural lifespan do its work, you'll outlive this thing.

[–]Kai_Decadence[S] 4 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 0 fun5 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

You raise some good points, there has been so much going on when it comes to the trans ideology and slowly the truth of the insanity is coming out and all but it's still gonna take some more push to truly see actual change. I'm really hoping that the rapists being put in women's prisons will be a big turning point. I do get everything you're saying.

I think for me, it's just having to continue on living in lonesome. I lost all the people I ever talked to when I came out in support of JK Rowling and my not believing in transgenderism and it's just been so rough trying to push through live having not much of any people to talk to. Because I'm paranoid to even bother trying to talk and make friends with people these days because I fear that when they learn I don't buy into transgender, they're gonna leave me. Dating has been a crapshoot but to be fair, it's always been a crapshoot for me. It's just overwhelming sometimes, I can't lie but I'm gonna try and hold out and just push through life.

[–]filbs111 6 insightful - 1 fun6 insightful - 0 fun7 insightful - 1 fun -  (5 children)

Your previous friends suck. If you're feeling down, there are some simple things you can try, that I can vouch for. Go outside, get some sun, do a bit of exercise, eat food with vegetables, go to bed early. There are real physiological reasons why I feel happier after doing these things.

Regarding finding friends, I suggest just doing some normal people stuff. See if there's a local poker game, badminton club or whatever. Maybe check for a stoics, philosophy, IDW or whatever meetup. You might find people there who are open minded.

As for relationships - i guess you're sort of a twink type looking for a bear man? I don't really know that much about that stuff, but imagine there are websites for that kind of thing. If you figure you have nothing to lose, why not start an Onlyfans? I reckon you could attract a small simp army. You might make being a glam rock/goth femboy into the next big trend.

[–]Kai_Decadence[S] 7 insightful - 1 fun7 insightful - 0 fun8 insightful - 1 fun -  (4 children)

Your previous friends suck. If you're feeling down, there are some simple things you can try, that I can vouch for. Go outside, get some sun, do a bit of exercise, eat food with vegetables, go to bed early. There are real physiological reasons why I feel happier after doing these things.

I'm just shocked that they just up and dropped me and I recently found out that one of them even went so far as to bad mouth me calling me this horrible, disgusting "transphobe" who they didn't want to be associated with anymore (this ex-friend blocked me so I didn't know until someone else told me but this person also dropped me as well). I get not agreeing but it hurt they took it that far because even though I've been vocally GC, I never said anything outright malicious to trans-identifed people unless saying things like a surgically inverted penis is not a vagina and a fake arm-skin phallic tube is not a penis is "malicious". I'm just being honest with that but I digress...

I actually do workout regularly and that does help me immensely as well as try to eat right, love me my salad bowls with chicken mixed in lol. I agree that these things help big time.

Regarding finding friends, I suggest just doing some normal people stuff. See if there's a local poker game, badminton club or whatever. Maybe check for a stoics, philosophy, IDW or whatever meetup. You might find people there who are open minded.

Eugh it's just that I find "normal" people stuff so boring, I'm a geek at heart haha. I dunno, I'll think of something though. One of my hopes is that as I continue making more content explaining why I'm GC as well as really laying it out why the trans beliefs just have no basis, I may find some people who have similar interests who agree with me and we can build a friendship from there. But it's just taking a while because of IRL stuff I'm dealing with but things should be going back to normal soon lol.

As for relationships - i guess you're sort of a twink type looking for a bear man? I don't really know that much about that stuff, but imagine there are websites for that kind of thing. If you figure you have nothing to lose, why not start an Onlyfans? I reckon you could attract a small simp army. You might make being a glam rock/goth femboy into the next big trend.

I technically wouldn't be considered a "twink" anymore since I'm 30 now and "twinks" are guys in their late teens, early 20s lol. Really the obstacles I have with dating are 1, I'm feminine and most gay men are not attracted to feminine and the few who are, are not into feminine presenting men. 2), I attract a lot of emotionally unavailable guys,. Of the few guys who do find me attractive, they only want sex and nothing else and at this time in my life, I'm looking for something more than that. 3), I attract married guys, not even gonna explain why this one is unpleasant lol. And 4), the few guys who do seem to be open to relationships with men, they want them to be "trans"identified because these guys suffer from internalized homophobia and don't want to admit that they're in a Gay/Homosexual relationship. That's what I meant by "they want me to swallow trans dogma" and I'm just not willing to compromise myself in that way. So yeah, it's pretty rough to say the least. And nah, I could never do OnlyFans lhaha And even if I did, I'm sure I would be promptly canceled for being "tRaNsPhObIc" lol.

[–]Elvira95Viva la figa 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (3 children)

I've heard dating for gay men is tough in general as most are just into hooking up and finding serious stuff is hard. The opposite of lesbians who want to get married after the second date lol Surely being feminine does get you more problem. Also racial minority got more problems. But overall is difficult to find serious love for everyone, especially for people with small dating poll, and even more so from people from a promiscuos poll. Do you have pets? I think I'm going to be a cat lady in the future. Dogs are better but much more work

[–]Kai_Decadence[S] 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (2 children)

I mean you're not wrong that dating for gay men is a lot more difficult because many are just into hooking and what's worse is that these days, you're seeing a lot more gay/bi men in open relationships popping up and if you're someone who's trying to look for other single guys, it just adds another layer of frustration sorting you have to be mindful of. Yeah being feminine but more specifically feminine presenting because I think there are some gay men who don't mind guys with a more feminine personality as long as they still present in a masculine style but if the guy is also feminine presenting like I am? That's where they have problems. And right, my being black probably doesn't help neither...

i currently don't have any pets but in recent years I've been thinking about getting a dog because it would be nice to have something in the flesh that'd be happy to see me (lol). But no seriously, I do plan on maybe getting a dog in the future when I have a more stable living situation. Cats are cool but I just was always drawn more to dogs lol

[–]Elvira95Viva la figa 4 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 0 fun5 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

People lives have been saved by pets. As you got a living being depending on you, you feel a reason to live and a source of affection and smiles. Dogs for me are better, dogs are like toddler who treat you as the best thing in the world, while cats are like grumpy teens lol But the work they require is equivalent. A dog will need much more time and attentions, daily walks and exercises, cats can be left alone for long, they don't require walks or restrict your life like that. You will find more emotional satisfaction in dogs. But cats are good too. I hated them before knowing an awesome cat ladies who made overcome my prejudices.

[–]Kai_Decadence[S] 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Right and that's the reason why I haven't gotten a dog yet. I just don't have the time and to give a dog all the attention they'll inevitably need just yet but when I do, I'll definitely be getting one. :)

[–]reluctant_commenter 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

Hey, I'm sorry I'm so late to this post but I just wanted to say, I know you don't know me but I care about you and I'm rooting for you, dude. It's completely unfair in the extreme that you're in a position where you're really unlikely to find not only romantic relationships but just basic friendship. And I so, so, so feel you on gender critical or trans-movement-critical beliefs being a whole other "layer" of difficulty on top of being LGB and/or GNC. I have often thought about it that way, too, and more recently I've been noticing more and more how utterly isolating it feels hiding this part of me, these beliefs, from almost every single person in my life. It feels crushing. I've been debating telling more people just because I almost feel like I'm living something of a lie, not talking about the massive wave of homophobia that's sweeping countries and that has affected me personally even in small details of my life.

I just want to say, I'm really glad you feel comfortable letting off some steam here, and I hope you keep going. And I believe you can do it. You seem awesome and it'd be heartbreaking to see the world deprived of you. Best wishes from a GNC gay woman.

[–]Kai_Decadence[S] 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Thank you so much for the kind words, they do help. It's been pretty rough the last couple of months. I don't really regret coming out because it feels good not having to lie about the truth and I really want to help other GNC people but especially the youth who are being suckered into the trans lie and damaging their bodies with the HRT and surgeries if they go through with that.

But yeah, it's just really tough trying to adjust to all this when it comes to personal relationships...