Do you live in an area that has any kind of rl gay scene? I wonder how things are these days - that seemed so central 20-30 years ago to meeting people and I know so much happens online now, but it also seems so much more likely to draw a more trans-oriented crowd? I don't know for sure if that's true, maybe it's just young people generally, but gay men being effeminate was practically the definition of gay men when I was young, and the whole pendulum swing was to make the point that actually some gay men were not quite so entirely stereotypically femme as you think... So the idea that nowadays people won't even accept that GNC men are gay is almost hilarious except that it really does mean the trans movement has seriously converted a whole generation.

I guess I'm saying, thanks for not being brainwashed, keep making noise about the problem and how it is directly affecting the gay community, and maybe try more offline venues where more mixed age people meet.. I'm sure trans people are everywhere, but maybe you could at least meet more gay friends or mentors and feel like you're less alone. Good luck <3