LifestyleHow much do you express your sexuality to your straight friends?

submitted by oofreesouloo⚡super lesbian⚡ from self.LGBDropTheT

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[–][deleted] 14 insightful - 1 fun14 insightful - 0 fun15 insightful - 1 fun -  (2 children)

Female bisexual here.

With my straight female friends, we either don't talk about it at all because we don't talk about intimacy, or we get very deep and dirty and don't hold a damn thing back. One extreme or the other.

It really depends on the person. And I believe it's very much a gender thing, women are taught to behave certain ways just like men are. Women gently test the waters and hold back our true thoughts and feelings, and find a neutral or compatible way of interacting. We escalate and build up and advance as we feel safe to do so.

sometimes I see a hot girl and I think something like "jesus, she's fucking hot" or think about a specific part of her body like her ass/boobs and I instantly repress it, because I'm terrified that my friends will be weirded out.

You gotta find the right friends. I know that's not easy, and I don't blame you at all for holding back. But at the same time, you may be doing your friendship(s) a disservice by holding back. They may be wanting to get to know you better and let loose themselves, and can't because you aren't revealing who you really are.

I don't know your exact circumstances though, it may not be safe for you to open up, so I can only speak in generalities.

(PS- you don't need to censor swear words or gendered slurs in this sub. We don't allow attacking other people with them, but descriptive usage and/or describing scenarios is fine. SaidIt/Reddit formatting can actually make censoring very unreadable if you don't know how to use code markup, so don't worry about it. This is the internet and we're all assumed adults or young adults here, go for it!)

[–]oofreesouloo⚡super lesbian⚡[S] 6 insightful - 1 fun6 insightful - 0 fun7 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

And I believe it's very much a gender thing, women are taught to behave certain ways just like men are. Women gently test the waters and hold back our true thoughts and feelings, and find a neutral or compatible way of interacting. We escalate and build up and advance as we feel safe to do so.

Omg, you explain what I feel so well 😢 I feel like men are allowed to express their sexuality with no filters at all and sometimes it's even too much and with women it's opposite! I'm constantly afraid or testing if this is the right moment, the right time, the right people to say what I'm thinking or not. And the way I say the things is everything very thought and not espontaneous.

They may be wanting to get to know you better and let loose themselves, and can't because you aren't revealing who you really are.

Yes, this is precisely my problem. I repress so much and hold myself back so much I feel like my friends don't get to know me.😢 And then I just don't want to go out anymore, start distancing myself, because I feel so "careful" with what I speak all the time :'

PS- you don't need to censor swear words or gendered slurs in this sub.

Thanks for letting me know! I think you really nailed it, and could really understand my fears and problem with this... I feel much better after this comment, it will be a slow process, I hope I can become a more espontaneous person :'

[–]MarkJeffersonTight defenses and we draw the line 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I feel like men are allowed to express their sexuality with no filters at all

Straight guys maybe. I don't think this is necessarily true otherwise.