DiscussionBi men in gay spaces – examples of constant homophobia, misinformation and undermining our definitions

submitted by lazy-summer-godSuper Gay from (self.LGBDropTheT)

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[–][deleted] 9 insightful - 1 fun9 insightful - 0 fun10 insightful - 1 fun -  (7 children)

If everyone were chill about it then I wouldn't have a problem. But I see many, m a n y examples here (this thread is one such example) of LGs being angry at bisexuals for calling themselves gay. And they have every right to feel that way because that undermines the true reality of their sexual orientation.

However the reverse is also true. Yet people act like bisexuals don't have a right to be upset at the reverse because people are too busy playing the oppression Olympics.

LGs want bisexuals to be out and own bisexuality so these things don't happen as often. I agree. But they need to pull their weight too and stop calling us straight people asking for attention when we come out, stop using 'well bisexuals mainly end up het paired long term' like it's this huge gotcha when it's literally statistics and a numbers game, and grant us the same courtesy of not calling themselves bi if they want us to stop calling ourselves gay.

People thinking you can only be homo or het is a symptom of monosexuals not understanding bisexuality, and consequently pretending it doesn't exist because that's easier for them. That's not our problem.

[–]nosympathy 8 insightful - 1 fun8 insightful - 0 fun9 insightful - 1 fun -  (4 children)

But they need to pull their weight too and stop calling us straight people asking for attention when we come out

funny that a lot of bisexual people's response to these threads have been "these are just TRAs, they're probably not even REAL bisexuals just straights larping!!!". bisexuals are definitely at a lot of fault for dismissing straight-leaning bisexuals as just "straights looking for attention". this is not just an mOnoSeXUAls problem.

[–]thump 8 insightful - 1 fun8 insightful - 0 fun9 insightful - 1 fun -  (2 children)

Thank you! There are some bisexuals who really show their true confusion when this topic is brought up. All of them are proving OP's point. There are waaaaaay fewer homos than bi's, how the heck can it be as a pervasive problem of us, as opposed to straights, claiming bi?? Now I'm starting to understand those lesbians who have such a strong stance on the whole "comphet" or "figuring things out" excuses.

[–][deleted] 3 insightful - 2 fun3 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 2 fun -  (1 child)

And rest assured that when actual straight people (not just bisexuals people like to 'accuse' of being straight) call themselves bi I call them on it. However it does little good to point that out on a forum of primarily non straight people, except for ranting and venting purposes. I won't get into which is more or less pervasive as far as LGB is concerned, because that gets into which is more or less damaging, which gets into who has more or less right to complain, and I'd rather not.

[–]thump 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I see your side of it, thanks for elucidating it with the fake bi's narrative. I thought about that yesterday; how a straight woman could claim she's "bi" because she's into transwomen and regular men. I was hesitant to say anything about it, because I didn't want to further derail discussion, but now I see, as usual, that straight TRA's contribute too much to brush it aside.

[–][deleted] 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I did not say this was solely a monosexuals issue. I said I was tired of people acting like only LGs have the right to be upset when people who don't share their orientation claim the label for themselves. If you read my other comments you can see I am not of the mind that bisexuals are free of guilt here. Nowhere did I say that the bisexuals OP is referring to were not actually bi, nor did I call them larping straights. What I did say was that I think their idiocy has more to do with the fact that they are TRAs and less to do with their sexuality, although navigating the world as a bisexual instead of a homosexual definitely contributes.

If you look at some of my comments in s/bisexuals you will see that I too am frustrated by other bisexuals that make us look bad and contribute to the problems we face. Your problem is not with me. So I'm not sure why you decided to mock my word choice in your last sentence.