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[–]simpliyoot 9 insightful - 3 fun9 insightful - 2 fun10 insightful - 3 fun -  (8 children)

Since when did gay effeminate men become attractive to even fetishize? I dont get this dynamic. And do they just not trust straight men to TRULY be effeminate to fuck them with a dildo? But i guess there's a big difference between a big hulking hairy monkey built like a tank wearing a wig and pretending to be feminine, and a genuinely feminine gay guy who's so authentically "gay" that he tries to overcome his femininity but cant.

It would be nice if they cancelled each other out (AGP's and AAP's) and partnered with each other.

[–]censorshipment 7 insightful - 8 fun7 insightful - 7 fun8 insightful - 8 fun -  (7 children)

Since when did gay effeminate men become attractive to even fetishize?

Hmm straight women (who aren't overtly homophobic) have been fetishizing gay effeminate men for decades. I noticed it throughout the 80s and 90s... women talking about how big gay men's dicks were. This is why I'm so comfortable looking at gay men. Lol I was brought up in a very gay-friendly environment.

https://www.reddit.com/r/BlackLGBT/comments/mqcjol/taco_tuesday/

Even my lesbian ass finds this "bottom" attractive. 🤫

Basit, on MTV's Are You The One? (season 8, the "queer" season), was adored by women. In the video below, Basit and Kylie had a thing during the show but weren't perfect matches.

https://youtu.be/OiWwKzOoH40

[–]simpliyoot 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (6 children)

as a gay guy i just find this incredibly strange. Not in a "theyre disgusting for even liking this" but.. dont women basically worship strong, dominant straight masculine men and their entire sexuality is built around wanting a big strong man to take refuge in his arms or something? These people dont seem to want to provide that lol They'd probably insist that YOU hold them lol is it just their aesthetic or i guess women feel a different power dynamic with them? Or they seriously expect gay effeminate men to act like dominant straight men?

[–]wafflegaffWoman. SuperBi. 11 insightful - 1 fun11 insightful - 0 fun12 insightful - 1 fun -  (5 children)

I think you'll find that's a pretty 1950s-throwback, stereotypical view of "what women want," which is not a set, definable thing, as I think should be readily apparent. People are different and complex. I'm a little bit surprised that this is how narrow your view of women is in this day and age, but maybe hanging out here, where there is considerable diversity, will help expand your understanding a bit. (Welcome—I don't know if you've been lurking before now, but your account is one day old so I'm assuming you aren't super familiar with all of the shared contexts of what gets talked about here yet. What you're essentially saying, as I interpret it, is that you assume that there's only one way for women to be, and the thing is, on this sub, we acknowledge that one can be "gender non-conforming" (and not trapped inside silly old stereotypes) without declaring one is another gender—without declaring any gender identity at all—without dysphoria, without denying one's biological sex, and without wanting to alter one's body. This means we have to accept that people are as they are without any of those additives. This means we have to have a much broader view than the one above. Otherwise this much more closely matches a TRA stance on women: They are the ones trying to drag us all back to a past in which this sort of assumption was also an enforced expectation. (Else you're trans.)

[–][deleted] 8 insightful - 1 fun8 insightful - 0 fun9 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

on this sub, we acknowledge that one can be "gender non-conforming" (and not trapped inside silly old stereotypes) without declaring one is another gender—without declaring any gender identity at all—without dysphoria, without denying one's biological sex, and without wanting to alter one's body.

We really need this in the sidebar, because it's such a basic tenant here.

[–]wafflegaffWoman. SuperBi. 9 insightful - 1 fun9 insightful - 0 fun10 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Welp, for the record, for the mod team: I don't mind if the verbiage is borrowed for that sort of use here. Probably needs a bit of modification. But I agree, it'd be a helpful bit of context to include.

[–]simpliyoot 7 insightful - 1 fun7 insightful - 0 fun8 insightful - 1 fun -  (2 children)

my superficial understanding of women isnt through men's rights activists but the rage heterosexual men feel towards the women and the incel culture. That theyre not "good enough" for women because theyre basically not 7 foot tall titans with 40 pack abs and a wealthy dominant businessman. When i hear "weak men, not strong, not "manly", it sort of becomes synonymous with effeminate gay men in my head so this fetishization of feminine gay men seems "off" to me but again, my only encounter with female sexuality is straight men ranting about women, which i will admit is basically like listening to a neo nazi talk share his opinion on jews.

[–]wafflegaffWoman. SuperBi. 5 insightful - 1 fun5 insightful - 0 fun6 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Well that explains it though, thank you. Way too much cultural brainwashing on both sides and people play that out and it doesn't work and it's unhealthy. And of course, some of that is people bringing their own stuff into their relationships, but some of the stuff is typically also a symptom of what's amiss in a larger sense. I'm sure we could wander off into a contemplation of how "toxic masculinity" came into being but I'm way too sleepy for that. Thank you for the candid response, though.

[–]usehername 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Now it makes sense