There is how I want to be seen, which are generally the standards I measure myself against but don’t quite measure up to. There is how I tend to come most of the time or in day to day life. And there is who I am when I’m coming across as my actual personal best.

I don’t like describing myself. I don’t like telling people how they should see me. That seems like a way for everyone to be dissatisfied and disappointed. I just hope I leave a net positive impact. If I absolutely have to describe myself, I would say analytical but empathetic.

Most people who meet me and interact with me don’t know I’m a lesbian, so I don’t think it’s a major part of how I am viewed. I do not go around announcing myself as gay anywhere, other than holding hands/being affectionate/going on dates with women in public. The fact that I am homosexual is relevant in how I am currently experiencing the world and politics because I’m silently screaming and dealing with a lot of invisible pain I feel like I can’t talk about with most people and I’m afraid people assume I’m part of the madness and reluctant to talk to me about it. And if there is someone I can talk to about it, it’s like opening the floodgates, and it’s hard to talk about dispassionately.