Discussion[Questions] Therapy for LGB, Gender Identity/the T, SRS, & Conversions

submitted by PeakingPeachEaterfemale♀ | detrans🦎 | eater of peaches 🍑 from self.LGBDropTheT

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[–]OPPRESSED_REPTILIANIntersex male | GNC | Don't call me "a gay", "twink" or "queen" 6 insightful - 1 fun6 insightful - 0 fun7 insightful - 1 fun -  (2 children)

1) Do you feel therapy is for everyone?

No. Mental health issues are immensely different and personal. For some, therapy may work wonders. For others, not so much.

2) Have you gone to therapy?

Yes, 2 times, briefly (not by choice, they dismissed me) & both were a negative experience that did more harm than helping.

2a) Was it for LGB-related reasons? (If not, don't worry about explaining for privacy reasons)

Technically part of it was, but I didn't feel comfortable or trusting enough to talk about that aspect, in fear of being laughed at or given the "ur so brave, love is love, be fabulous!1" talk.

3) What are your thoughts on gender therapy? Is it affective or not effective? Please explain.

I can't say as I've never really seen what it is.

3a) Do you feel hormones and sex reassignment surgery is the best or most effective cure for gender dysphoria?

No.

4) Do you feel there are adequate "LGB-friendly" therapy/counselling?

That's a rather subjective description. What I would consider beneficial to my sexuality may not be considered "LGB friendly" by others, and vice versa. However, no, generally I don't believe there is anything truly catered to sexuality beyond generic, half-hearted statements like preaching "love yourself" and all that.

5) What are your thoughts on taking medication for mental health?

Generally wary of/against it unless nothing else has worked. I personally refuse to try medication until I have explored other options in-depth, for a multitude of reasons.

5a) Do you feel taking hormones(for sex reassignment) is the same or different than medication?

Different. Very different. Some medications can be pretty brutal side effect wise, but I don't think they have such a permanent, extreme effect as HRT. HRT is also prescribed to ENCOURAGE the patient's unhealthy behavior; medication is generally given for the opposite. Psychosis isn't treated by giving people hallucinogens, eating disorders aren't treated with diet pills and laxatives.

6) Where you live, is therapy common or frowned upon?

I have not seen strong opinions either way, really.

6a) Furthermore, is "Gay Conversion Therapy" common where you live? Have you experienced it firsthand or known others who experienced it?

Nope, but I am constantly searching for it, and fully intend to go into it if I can find a reputable place (ie: does things with actual therapy techniques and actually tries to help, rather than just slapping me with a bible or something.) This is my personal decision I have thought greatly about and I strongly believe I have every right to have access to this option, and that it is solely up to me how I choose to seek relief from my struggles. I would never force others into doing things "my way", even if I succeeded and it worked, but I also ask that others not force their beliefs and ways on me either. Sometimes, "love is love" and "be fabulously gay and own it, sweetie!" aren't the answers.

Bonus

What are your overall thoughts on therapy?

It's very hit or miss. There's also not enough of it. In some places it's expensive, sometimes there are insane waiting lists (bad if you're in a seriously unwell state) and in a lot of cases, patients often feel the need to lie or withhold information in case it is used against us. This happened in my experience. I did not mention my sexuality even though it's a big cause of my distress, because I couldn't confirm they wouldn't record it or that they'd refer me to some embarassing pro-LGBT "support group." I also downplayed my suicidal thoughts and made up lies, such as that I had someone to contact if I felt "critical", just to avoid being hospitalized against my will. That's not right. How are we supposed to get help if being honest will land us with punishments and loss of dignity?! How am I supposed to stop feeling suicidal if the mere mention of it has them basically threatening to imprison me if I don't swear some kind of agreement and lie about having "safety nets"?

Anything else you'd like to add?

Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) is a genuine scam and is one of the worst current trends in mental health. Some claim it has helped them, but I strongly advise against it, ESPECIALLY if you pay for therapy because in most cases, it boils down to "you're choosing to feel bad, so stop choosing to feel bad." It's not helpful for anyone who's distress is caused by a real issue, like a terrible life circumstance, because they will just tell you to "think positively" about horrible things and act like you can choose to be happy & healthy even if you're poor, have trauma, are in an abusive relationship, etc.

[–]PeakingPeachEaterfemale♀ | detrans🦎 | eater of peaches 🍑[S] 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

Ah, so CBT is what it's called. The last time I went to therapy, my therapist was exactly how you described: "you're choosing to feel bad, so stop choosing to feel bad".

She also said "you don't seem depressed, but here's information on how to think positive"....I have/had Post Partum Depression and had suicidal thoughts for the longest time....these thoughts still come up sometimes, but stop myself because I have a child to care for and feel stuck in life. I didn't tell her those things though, because I already know she'll just assume it's all "in your mind".

I hadn't had any good luck so far with therapy honestly. It feels like a waste of money for me. I don't think I'll ever be able to fully explain my transitioning/detransitioning period without some sort of negative input(ex. Either they're SUPER LGBTQIA friendly so that makes my Drop the T thinking "wrong" or they just don't get it and will brush it off).

Last time, I told her about some issues dealing with dysfunctional family, a loved one with addiction, etc, she just focused in on a stupid trivial detail of me mentioning I cringe at my old pictures (that was when I was transitioning, I don't like to look at them much). She ignored basically everything I said and told me to "hang" or "put out" those cringe pictures so I feel more positive about it. No thanks.

[–]OPPRESSED_REPTILIANIntersex male | GNC | Don't call me "a gay", "twink" or "queen" 4 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 0 fun5 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Yep. I literally explained in detail that I had depression since before I even turned 10 and that I was often suicidal, and was told I was "just being lazy and choosing not to do things with my life" and "not trying hard enough to think positive." Fuck that.

Same with fixating on small details too, actually. I kind of touched on the topic of my family issues and how I was emotionally abused as a kid, and for some reasons she translated that into "you have a mind of a little boy, so you need to become your own parent" and I still don't know what the fuck that was supposed to mean.