Am I needy or is being a lesbian in a predominantly hetero society that hard?

submitted by oofreesouloo⚡super lesbian⚡ from self.LGBDropTheT

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[–]PenseePansyBio-Sex or Bust 5 insightful - 1 fun5 insightful - 0 fun6 insightful - 1 fun -  (2 children)

Not a lesbian obviously, but still feel for you, Souloo! :( Just seems like the world is making it unnecessarily difficult to be lesbian these days. Especially with men swamping your spaces. If THAT weren't an issue, you'd have lots of options to meet other single-and-looking femme4femme women, without being forced to announce "I'M GAY!!!" somehow. In fact, wouldn't it be great to have numerous groups/meetups (maybe themed nights in lesbian clubs?) specifically for femmes who are into same? Even organized around other interests, like a book club, or knitting club, or whatever? Where you could find women to date who also shared your hobbies and stuff?

But anyway... I was thinking: would it be possible to make a connection to other gay/lesbian people through this sub, maybe? I know that everybody here isn't in the same country or even on the same continent, but if you could just get into a friend-of-a-friend chain somewhere, it might lead to the low-key lesbian group you're looking for, you know? And one that's probably gonna be blessedly-free of men-with-ladyfeelz! Yeah: discreet, femme4femme, exclusively-female dating-- that's the LGBDropTheT promise! :) Does anyone here have any names, etc., that they could suggest? (Ideally in PMs, I'm assuming.)

[–]oofreesouloo⚡super lesbian⚡[S] 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

Omg Pensee!!! How are you, sweetheart?? I've missed you. Hope everything's doing great with you! :D

In fact, wouldn't it be great to have numerous groups/meetups (maybe themed nights in lesbian clubs?) specifically for femmes who are into same? Even organized around other interests, like a book club, or knitting club, or whatever? Where you could find women to date who also shared your hobbies and stuff?

This would be a paradise indeed. It would be wonderful!

But anyway... I was thinking: would it be possible to make a connection to other gay/lesbian people through this sub, maybe?

Yeah, I already do this hehe. And I've met here lots of people I've come to have some sort of connection here. I love this community. However, I just liked to have someone to hold, to see, to hug, ... you know! But yeah it definitely helps having this community and meeting people here :) So, thank you for brightening my day! And hope you're doing okay :)

[–]PenseePansyBio-Sex or Bust 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I've been good, babe! :) Missed you, too-- but I know that you're plenty busy, what with school and all (including trying to find a girlfriend with both TQ+ and COVID as obstacles), so I didn't wanna bug ya! If you have the time, feel free to spend some of it with me, OK?

I do hope that maybe, through people here, you might be able to meet some eligible women where you are IRL-- if you could just get some names (of people, web sites, clubs, whatever) that'd lead there! A way to find the single femme lesbians looking for same locally. They must be around! You've just gotta hit on an "in", you know? So if you could just crowdsource that info through this sub (or one like it? are there any other LGB-- or just L-- sites that reject the trans Kool-Aid?)... I mean, that's often how we same-sex-attracted people have had to find partners, isn't it?: through a friend-network. Would be great if this sub could be part of yours that way.

Really, though: it does seem to me that dating apps can be a godsend, especially for those who are exclusively same-sex-attracted. It's such a small pool, and if you aren't the type to broadcast your sexual orientation publicly (neither am I!), finding each other seems especially challenging. Are apps out of the question for you? Could there be at least some for your locale that screen out the damn men, and welcome femme4femme women? Maybe you could use apps that aren't for dating per se, but ARE for lesbians, and meet women THAT way?

Basically, it seems to me that... you need to go where the lesbians are! Whether it's a dating app, or an app at all, or what-- just SOMEPLACE that's gonna have the women you're looking for. They're there somewhere: you've just gotta find 'em! HOW is the only question!

I wish that I could point you in the right direction, Souloo; obviously I'm lacking in lesbian credentials... but maybe someone here who isn't can help! But I'll still be cheering you on, at least (with my pom-poms). :)