1. What are your thoughts on terms such as "bear", "otter", "twink", "cub", "queen" "top" and "bottom"?

Hate them. "Top and bottom" would be okay if they were used in a completely unbiased way to simply describe who was penetrating, without implying any kind of power play or "dominance" over the "bottom"/implication that the "bottom" is inferior, but it's pretty much always like that.

1a. Do you use these terms? (If so, how would you describe yourself)

I have used "bottom" to describe myself in a few places online, in a negative way, to explain that I'm not interested in anything but penetrative sex, and I'm not happy with that. I have never used it in real life, or in any online place where I'm not anonymous. It is not something I wish to "identify" as.

1b. Can other groups (such as the L, B, and T) use these terms?

Use them how? For self identification or for calling others that?

If, for whatever weird reason, a lesbian woman wants to call herself a "twink" then I don't really care. Maybe if everyone uses these terms enough and throws them around, they'll lose all meaning and won't seem so negative anymore.

Also it's a strange concept to me that it's even up for debate whether bisexual men, aka men who have sex with men, are allowed to use somewhat demeaning terms referring to... men who sleep with men.

2. How do you feel the gay community treats gender non-conforming gay men? (ex. GNC men that look like Miles Jai or Pierre XO--though he is metrosexual--aka, straight GNC...)

Awfully.

It feels like a 50/50 split between being told I'm not a real man/that I am a "fake gay"/that I need to take dangerous testosterone injections, by gay men who value masculinity above anything else, and gay men who fetishize feminine/GNC guys and talk to me in a sexually degrading and demanding way.

3. Are you into fashion, makeup, drag races, Beyonce etc? Also, how do you feel about these stereotypes?

See, this is probably why I get shit a lot.

I like wearing makeup, I like fashion in the sense I like some fashion genres and I like putting effort into what I wear. But I'm not flamboyant. There's a difference, a very clear difference. People need to understand that.

I find a lot of gay stereotypes sexist too. You talk in a dumb voice, act needlessly "sassy" to the point of being rude and unlikable, and wear ridiculous outfits, and you think that makes you "like a woman" when I don't think I've ever seen a woman act like that.

4. What are some issues that should be tackled/discussed in gay (men) circles?

• Toxic masculinity and the obsession with needing to be super manly and "dominate" others. The need to "dominate" another man you see as lesser or "less manly." The abuse and discrimination against feminine males, and reducing some kinds of man to nothing but a fetish category; objectification.

• The fact that the gay (and wider LGBT) keeps promoting dangerous sex practices, especially to younger people.

• Rampant pedo/grooming problem, especially online.

• Alternatives for people who dislike being gay. Some of us want out of this life and I don't see why we should be denied that, especially if we only want to do it for OURSELVES and don't force anyone else into it.

5. Do you feel as though you are a part of the LGBTQIA+ as the G? (Please explain)

I do not identify with the G because I cannot relate to most gay men, nor do I want to associate with the wider LGBT. My experience is extremely different, I am neither "proud" nor comfortable to be attracted to males, in fact it's something I struggle with extremely. I can't relate to "gay culture" and can't understand it most of the time even if it's explained to me. Then there's the fact that I try not to call myself "gay" because it seems more like an aesthetic or stereotype than a technical term, so I guess that voids me from being in the "G" anyway.

6. How do you feel about the Trans Radical Activists?

I hate them, but other activists can be just as bad. I mostly hate the adult ones with actual influence, I care less about the idiot kids who'll most likely grow out of it in a few years. So, I try to save my hatred for those in power.

6a.) Thoughts on "gaydens"?(ex. trans females that allege they are gay men)

They're really depressing. Again, a lot of them are kids, so I try not to get too stressed, but man can they be nasty and insulting.

7. What is the dating scene like for you? (ex. hook up culture, old fashion dating, etc)

Bad. I choose not to date, because the idea of being with a man makes me very uncomfortable, both hookups and a "traditional" dating relationship.

7a. Is the "male role" and "female role" common in gay men relationships?

Yes, and it's inescapable. Guys always want me to be "the woman" because I look androgynous, and this isn't something positive. I think these guys are extremely sexist, it's just no one cares because they have no interest in women sexually.

8. What are your thoughts on the Gay (man) Blue Flag & Rainbow Flag?

The gay blue one is "trans inclusive" and a shitty, gender color coded recolor of the pink lesbian flag. I have NO idea why this sub uses it when this sub is about "dropping the T", and they don't even use the pink lesbian flag in the banner to begin with.

The rainbow flag is okay, I guess? It's cheesy and nonspecific but that fits the era it was made in. I'm mad that I can't wear anything with rainbow on without someone thinking I'm gay, though.

9. What are your thoughts on the following terms(and being called that or others calling themselves that): 'Queer', 'F...t', 'Sassy', 'Homo', 'Homosexual', "Gay", "Gaybie", "Same-sex attracted", and "TEHM". [TEHM= Trans Exclusive Homosexual Man]

Queer: Stupid and meaningless but I don't see it as a "slur." I associate it with hipsters and idiots who just want to be special.

The big bad F-word: Lol, I actually like it, and I use it for myself a lot. I am struggling a lot with what feels like no way out, what else can I do but laugh at myself? In a weird way it helps.

Sassy: Irrelevant to being gay. A legitimate word but the "sassy gay man" stereotype is unfunny, has never been funny, and needs to piss off.

Homo: Fine with this, it's light hearted. I call myself this a lot.

Homosexual: The literal, technical, "clinical" term for "gay" and this is why I like and describe myself as such. "Gay" feels like an aesthetic or a subculture, but "homosexual" is nothing more than what it says it is.

Gay: Again, feels more like an aesthetic, stereotype, or subculture - one I cannot relate to.

Gaybie: Wtf does this mean? I googled it but I got different results - the child of a gay couple, or a male new to being gay? I don't know.

Same sex attracted: Again, literal and straight to the point, also useful because it includes bisexual people.

TEHM: Now this is a tricky one. Originally, I was all for this, because of it's literal meaning. But it's too similar to "TERF" and I refuse to use it solely because of that. I don't want to associate with radical feminists, especially considering they hate most males for being male, so it makes no sense to have a male-only term associated with radfems.

10. What type of discrimination do you deal with? (Online, real life, daily, etc)

I used to experience a lot of real life discrimination when I was younger. I was never "out" and I wasn't actually gay until I was older, but I was still bullied for being feminine and "looking gay."

Now I live isolated and in a quiet place, so most of the discrimination is now online.

11. What is one of the MOST annoying myth stereotypes about gay men that you hate?

That homosexual male = fun loving, "out and proud", friendly, supportive and "tolerant" of all, and so forth.

No. I am a miserable bastard. I wish I could just be left alone and not expected to perform as some kind of perfect fountain of woke-positivity for others.

11a) Is there a gay stereotype that you like or follow?

I'm not sure if this counts but some seem to think that homosexual guys are often "one of the girls" socially and get along better with female friends. It certainly applies to me.

12. What are you thoughts on gay marriage?

I am against it pretty firmly, but before anyone loses their shit - it's because I'm against marriage as a whole. It's outdated and sexist and "equality" does not ean giving same sex couples the option to emulate sexist male/female dynamics.

12a. Thoughts on biological children or adoption?

I don't believe surrogacy is okay, it seems cruel, like using women as products or services. Adoption I'm not so sure about. My sexuality was warped at a young age by exposure to adult topics and I feel like non-straight parents are less likely to restrict kids from "sex positive" content.

13. What are you countries views on gay men? [Please explain]

Russia: It's not nearly as bad as the Western media makes it out to be, most people do not care. You will not be killed for simply being gay. I have searched far and wide for actual, undeniable evidence of the Chechnya "gay death camps" claims but every single "source", English and Russian, traces back to "this one LGBT organization confirmed it", which is highly suspicious.

13a. What country or countries do you feel is the LEAST and MOST tolerant/accepting of gay men?

I can't really answer this because the word "tolerant" has taken on different meanings. I think, for example, the country that has the most "LGBT activism" and pandering is NOT the country that is most literally tolerant.

Thank you for asking these, OP, and starting discussion. It's really nice to see a post that makes one think and reply more than just the generic "look what this trans person said" rage porn that gets posted six times a day.