I think the main reason that most men don't stand with women against the TRAs is that they are oblivious to the whole thing or at least aren't aware of the full extent of how crazy it has got...and for a minority of men, they just don't like women and this is a wonderful opportunity to be really misogynist and woke at the same time. But yes, there is a minority of women in the gender critical movement who just really hate men, the extremists tend to shout the loudest and this is coupled with others being a bit intimidated to take them on and a natural tendency to focus on the one or two aggressive, unpleasant comments being made about you over the rest of the reasonable people.

From the trans issue, I ended up for a while travelling down the rad fem/lesbian feminist path (because we were told we were all trans-exclusionary radical feminists, that meant we were or should be radical feminists and lesbian feminist just means lesbian and feminist, right? - or so I thought at the time). I came to realise that that wasn't the natural conclusion or the right place to be and, yes, there are lots of reasonable people who are against this madness so I agree with the previous poster about just finding reasonable organisations or groups to get involved in.

In defence of some of these angry radfems, there are some women who have experienced extreme abuse from men and some from multiple men (eg women who have been in prostitution for many years and have experienced the absolute worse of male behaviour from lots of different punters) so I do understand that level of anger and distrust. There are others I think who are just really angry about any perceived slight from men or any advantage that men have but don't have the same attitude to other injustices because they conveniently regard patriarchy as the main and only important power differential in society and anything else as just a distraction.