I Signed Up to Study Sexual Health. What I Got Was Gender Ideology, Fetishism, and Porn

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[–]OPPRESSED_REPTILIANIntersex male | GNC | Don't call me "a gay", "twink" or "queen" 5 insightful - 3 fun5 insightful - 2 fun6 insightful - 3 fun -  (2 children)

Lol being homosexual isn't like "A sweet tooth." Being homosexual isn't a flavor preference. Your flavor tastes can and do change over time but this sub will shit itself if you dare imply sexuality can ever change, not even that it is guaranteed.

Also liking sweet foods doesn't cause irreparable sexual damage, severe mental distress and, if I acted on my desires, incurable disease and possibly death. So y'know. Not comparable.

How do you know that this abusive behavior is due to their homosexuality, though? Correlation is not causation. I have met many narcissistic, abusive straight people, but I don't assume their heterosexuality is the cause of their narcissism. (A TRA would tell you differently, of course. But I don't think homosexuality is a positive thing-- or a negative thing.)

Because while abusive straight guys seem to be a vocal minority, I have yet to meet another homosexual male who I can actually confirm is not abusive. Even random casual encounters on forums like these I can't be sure and often, even in a totally nonsexual, political only discussion, gay guys tend to leave "red flags" about abusive behavior.

And for the record I do count myself in this group. I think all homosexual males are inherently sexually unhealthy in one way or another. A lot of them abuse others but a lot of them are also masochistic or otherwise just weird. I think a lot of males are sexually unhealthy in general (and I think it's very rare, almost impossible, for males to feel love) but it seems to be way more common with homosexuality in the mix.

Were they like catcallers on the street or what?

Some of them. There have been catcallers on the street (Although some of those are straight. I don't exactly "pass" as male. Sometimes it's clear they think I'm female) who can do anything from mistake me for a prostitute to follow me around an entire town. Sometimes it's guys on social media sending me sexually explicit messages detailing about how they'd like to rape me, and then when I tell them to fuck off they go around telling everyone else that I'm "abusive" and mean and try to humiliate me. Sometimes it's random messages online with NO sexual or adult context behind it (case in point, last night I was talking to friends on Discord and some guy messages me out of the blue with a very explicit question I won't repeat) but even if it is a NSFW discussion I tend to hide my sexuality. Doesn't matter, guys still harass me. If it's a group discussion and people know I'm a feminine guy? Then they will often make PUBLIC "jokes" about raping me or sexually degrading acts because they see me as a "femboy" and thus that apparently means I'm supposed to inherently like this shit.

And that's not even getting into my real life "closer" encounters with men, which I won't say much about, but it is horrible.

I am being completely honest when I say no man shows sexual interest in me and sees me as a person at the same time. It just doesn't happen. Combine that with not feeling any love for men (ever) and not being happy with homosexuality and well, maybe you can start to see why I don't see this as something "beautiful" to be proud of & I just think it's a disorder and want it gone.

[–]reluctant_commenter 5 insightful - 1 fun5 insightful - 0 fun6 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

Thanks for taking the time to share your thoughts, it's making me think more about all of this. Now, for those comments...

liking sweet foods doesn't cause irreparable sexual damage, severe mental distress and, if I acted on my desires, incurable disease and possibly death. So y'know. Not comparable.

What evidence is there that homosexuality alone causes

  • irreparable sexual damage

  • severe mental distress

  • incurable diseases

  • death

on its own? Are you referring to the sexually transmitted diseases that one may get through having sex...? Because heterosexuals get those too. And what "irreparable sexual damage" is caused merely by the fact of being homosexual?

But while abusive straight guys seem to be a vocal minority

HAH! That's a hilarious idea. Maybe in your experience?? But, to get to some non-anecdotal evidence-- if you want to compare how abusive straight men are to homosexual men, this 2010s study of intimate partner violence in the U.S. found that

  • * Lifetime prevalence of undergoing rape, physical violence or stalking from an intimate partner: * 35% of heterosexual women (straight male perpetrator), vs. 26% of homosexual men (non-straight male perpetrator)
  • * Lifetime prevalence of severe physical violence by a partner: * 23.6% of heterosexual women, vs. 16.4% of homosexual men
  • * Lifetime prevalence of any sort of sexual violence (excluding rape), by any perpetrator: * 43.3% of heterosexual women, vs. 40.2% of homosexual men

I hate to break it to you but, at least here in the U.S., straight men abuse their partners at least as much as, or more than, homosexual men abuse their partners. (Perhaps cultural differences may make a difference?)

Link to the survey results, themselves: https://www.google.com/url?sa=t&source=web&rct=j&url=https://www.cdc.gov/violenceprevention/pdf/cdc_nisvs_digest_final-a.pdf&ved=2ahUKEwj90cyE2-XsAhXkPn0KHXCdDcIQFjABegQIJRAC&usg=AOvVaw1H5DaIhlsf6S8yeSp25QkA&cshid=1604383672330

Link to a website about the survey: https://www.icpsr.umich.edu/web/NACJD/studies/34305

To be honest, though-- I agree with you, I don't really believe that homosexuality is a "beautiful" thing. I think it just is, neither negative or positive; but I can see why you feel so negatively about it. Male sexual objectification feels extremely shitty and I'm so sorry you have had to endure so much of it, dude. It sounds like you have to deal with the kind of sexual objectification women regularly get from straight males, as well as any harassment related to being intersex.

being completely honest when I say no man shows sexual interest in me and sees me as a person at the same time.

And to be completely honest myself, that has also been my experience, unfortunately :/ just from straight men. But that doesn't mean kind, thoughtful people aren't out there. I hope you're able to meet some of them.

[–]OPPRESSED_REPTILIANIntersex male | GNC | Don't call me "a gay", "twink" or "queen" 3 insightful - 2 fun3 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 2 fun -  (0 children)

No, I'm not (just) referring to STDs, although you should know that gay men are far more likely to contract STDs than any other group. This is not just because anal sex is far more risky, it's because gay men generally care less about safety & some of them even DELIBERATELY spread or seek out STDs. (Is that not enough of a warning sign that homosexuality may be linked to not being of healthy mind?)

But "irreparable sexual damage" doesn't just refer to disease, it also refers to: - serious anal trauma - other sexual trauma such as wounds from sadomascohism, something that is common in gay men - emotional/mental damage as a result of having a fucked up sexuality, such as the fact that I believe mine was "ruined" due to too early exposure to sex and unhealthy practices. We know this is a thing because males who regularly consume porn often suffer from erectile dysfunction and very unhealthy beliefs about sex/interest in sex.

My entire experience as a homosexual male tells me enough - loving gay men who care about others, at least, those who care about guys like me (feminine males/people who are very visibly "different") either don't exist or are a very small minority. The only people who have seemed to have any romantic interest in me are women; which unfortunately I cannot reciporate. Men however have no interest in my feelings, my wellbeing, or "loving" me, they just want to use my body, and most of the time this involves very violent excuses for "sex" and things like "domination" and emotional control. Not to mention I can literally feel that my sexuality is "broken," I can feel there's still a part of me that has heterosexual desires but it's like it is "blocked." I can't explain it in words very well but it's similar to that sinking feeling you get when deep down you know your injury is worse than you first thought or that an illness is getting worse. I know it's not intentional, it's not just that "some people randomly turn out gay," this is a problem with my brain as much as other neurological and mental issues. Otherwise I wouldn't feel conflicted. I am not influenced by "society" and I have never lived in an "anti gay" place, I have been bombarded with pro-gay propaganda since I was a child. The conflict I feel isn't "internalized homophobia" or other made up crap like that, it is literally that I can still feel that I'm supposed to be heterosexual, and being with guys is not good for me. If my homosexuality was "intentional", I was "born with it" etc, then surely I would fully love and be attracted to guys and not feel hurt & confused, right?

I hate to break it to you but, at least here in the U.S., straight men abuse their partners at least as much as, or more than, homosexual men abuse their partners.

Sorry but I don't trust any study, especially from the US, with homosexual statistics considering that Western culture has painted homosexuality as untouchable & "protected." People are not doing the necessary studies in fear of being "homophobic", so I can't trust any data. They won't even do proper resresearch into the cause, prevention, or even "treatment" for homosexuality because people have deemed it immoral.

Also isn't this self reported? Which are stats you can rarely trust.

I trust my lived experience way more than I trust a study from a country that refuses to acknowledge science & facts because they are "bigoted." I don't care what the study says, if what I can observe firsthand shows the opposite. I have known plenty of healthy straight couples, I have never known a healthy gay couple. Likewise I have never had a woman show interest in me by expressing she wants to physically or emotionally abuse me, but men have ONLY showed "interest" that way. I trust women over men, I do not trust gay men, and propaganda from a pro-gay culture will not sway me.

I don't want to meet "kind and thoughtful" gay men. I still believe that the only thing close to "good" ones are people like me who are self aware, but still not healthy. I don't believe they can be healthy, but it doesn't matter. I am not interested in dating men and I find gay men very unattractive, even if most of them weren't inherently abusive, the cult-like beliefs, stupid "culture", obnoxious fake accents and generally bizarre beliefs are a huge turn off. If I was FORCED to date a guy I would much rather date a bi guy, or even a straight one (obviously the latter is morally questionable but... so would be hypothetically forcing me to date a guy)