LifestyleWhere do you meet like-minded LGB people in real life?

submitted by PeakingPeachEaterfemale♀ | detrans🦎 | eater of peaches 🍑 from self.LGBDropTheT

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[–]reluctant_commenter 8 insightful - 1 fun8 insightful - 0 fun9 insightful - 1 fun -  (3 children)

TLDR My opinion is that there are a lot of LGB-supportive people who are worried about trans ideology, but it will take some effort to find those people because they may hide their views out of pressure from the TQ.

I'm really sorry to hear you've had to deal with that homophobic crap. Yeah, a lot of conservatives are unsurprisingly against the T. But I think a lot of liberals are, too-- but silently.

I know quite a few people who are in academia (which is generally very liberal), and from my anecdotal experience, it seems like there are many people besides myself who are concerned about the transgender movement's claims and ideology. Particularly faculty members, because TQ undergraduate "adherents" are happy to accuse anybody of transphobia or whatever off of even simple misunderstandings.

I am lucky enough to have a straight friend IRL who is super on board with the stuff in this sub, but not homophobic. My eventual plan is to get him to introduce me to his LGB friends, lol (when the pandemic is less of a factor, that is). Chances are decent that they have similar values to him. I also discovered that another lesbian woman I know is largely against transgender ideology!

My suggestion is to ask "easy" questions to suss out the person before you really get into a conversation about these topics. E.g.: "How do you feel about J.K. Rowling? I heard some people were mad at her but I don't know much about why.." is one of my go-to's. (Side note: this is part of why JKR speaking up is so awesome, because she's provided an easy template for starting these types of conversations, lol.)

edit: Sorry that turned into a whole essay lmao. Here's a post I made about the friend I talked to, if it's helpful at all: https://saidit.net/s/LGBDropTheT/comments/6hew/small_victory_a_rant_talked_to_a_friend_about/

[–]8bitgay 5 insightful - 1 fun5 insightful - 0 fun6 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

TLDR My opinion is that there are a lot of LGB-supportive people who are worried about trans ideology, but it will take some effort to find those people because they may hide their views out of pressure from the TQ.

Yeah. I have one bi friend who is also pro-LGB and against the queer+ narrative, but I only found that out recently when I asked his opinion about something. He isn't talking about this stuff openly - I mean, neither am I!

At any rate, he lives far away from me nowadays. And it was kind of a lucky friendship, when I met him he hadn't even realized he was bi yet.

The JKR idea is great, I might start using it! I can imagine it would produce some interesting results too since it became trendy to hate her but most people haven't even actually read what she says.

I wish it was easier to find link-minded LGB in real life spaces. I'd like to make friends and eventually find a boyfriend too but it can be very frustrating when you find out people are following homophobic pro-TQ+ narratives. Sure, I avoid the obvious red flags, but unfortunately too many LGB people are peer pressured into this. Some people try to be nice and accomodate to everyone, but they don't realize that sometimes accomodating to one group means hurting another group.

If you see a guy saying women owe him sex and you just agree with him to be polite, you're agreeing with a behavior that hurts those women. In such a situation, you can't be "nice" to everyone, if you agree to one side you're disagreeing with the other. But for some reason when a similar situation happens with LGB, people often choose a side and don't realize that by doing this they're going against the other side.

[–]PeakingPeachEaterfemale♀ | detrans🦎 | eater of peaches 🍑[S] 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

That's cool that you have some pro-LGB friends! Currently not having luck finding friends here like that...

I'm thinking of putting "JKR fan" on online profiles for gaming/hobbie related stuff for subtle sign for proLGB and GC people to pick up queue haha.

About the agreeing to be polite---I am guilty of that.

I used that more as self defense. I was heavily Catholic for some of my life, but catholicism never really made sens to me---everything made sense when I realized I was actually an atheist...I'm still mostly in the "closet" about it.

I pretend to agree with religious people(my family and in-laws) to avoid fighting with them or getting into a stupid argument.

I guess it may just depend on circumstances. If I would have say I was an atheist or loved the same sex back when I lived with my parents, I would've receive beating, thrown out of house, and possibly disowned...

I'm an adult now with a family if my own, so I don't have to worry about that anymore.

[–]PeakingPeachEaterfemale♀ | detrans🦎 | eater of peaches 🍑[S] 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Looks like the consensus is to ask about JKR, I think I shall do that whenever this pandemic is over...whenever I meet new LGB people I mean. Everyone at my work is very "woke" and my boss is MtF, so...no point in talking to them. My coworkers that I'm friendly with drink that koolaid too...One is a "pansexual" gal and the other is a super liberal tatted guy. You either for or against them. They have super strong opinions that I will let them go when I find new job. They don't really...think outside box.

For example, I have friend who leans right(I lean left, I guess?), let's call him "vaquero", he live maybe 1,5km away(i used to live there but move, I move around ALOT). Anyhow, we don't agree on everything but it was fun/interesting having conversation with him. He is intelligent and knows how to hold conversation well. The other two I mentioned? Nope it's "Fuck [conservative politician here]!" And "[liberal politician] has the best, most AMAZING speech unlike [conservative politician]...." Okaaaaay cool.

Vaquero was actually my cousin's friend first---my cousin is now MtF. Vaquero confided in me to let me know before I moved. He says he doesn't agree with my cousin transitioning, and said he thinks my cousin needs help(because we BOTH know my aunt/uncle, MtFcousin's parents, are terrible. Vaquero and I liver with my aunt and uncle at one point during separate times).

I haven't talk to vaquero in nearly two-three years though...I move around a lot and once I move I lose connection with people from my past life. So I want to make new friends when pandemic over that are LGB!

It is cool that you have a good friend that understands the TRA craze is nothing but a craze! Hopefully this pandemic is over soon so you can meet the cool LGB friends he has!