Aces and Aros

submitted by Beth-BR from self.LGBDropTheT

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[–]oofreesouloo⚡super lesbian⚡ 37 insightful - 1 fun37 insightful - 0 fun38 insightful - 1 fun -  (12 children)

No, asexual and aromantic should not belong. For me, it only makes sense a LGB community, because it's dedicated to SAME SEX attraction. Asexualitiy is lack of sexual attraction. Besides, what rights do asexuals want? What discrimination have they faced or do they face? None. The only exception for me would be homoromantic asexuals because those asexuals actual do suffer discrimination because they're can engage in homosexual relationships. Aromantic people? Apart from aromantic ASEXUALS (so asexuals who prefer to be single), I don't think those people exist. I think people who don't lack sexual attraction and identify as aromantic have mental issues/commitment issues/attachment style issues/trauma/etc etc etc to address. For me, it's not normal that a person isn't able to develop an emotional connection with anyone. Only LGB.

[–]Beth-BR[S] 9 insightful - 1 fun9 insightful - 0 fun10 insightful - 1 fun -  (11 children)

Wow, ok. Being aromantic isn't about attachment and commitment, it's about feeling romantic attraction. An aromantic person may still crave a close physical relationship it's just not going to be romantic from their point of view. In our culture we assign all the importance to a romantic relationship and set it as an ultimate goal and happiness and anyone not interested is a heartless villan. Friendships can hold just as much importance and they require just as much effort and commitment. You can be a very loving person without the love being romantic. That's why I didn't think that aromantics should be in the community unless they're also bi/gay, that doesn't mean they don't exist, just separately. I don't know if that changes your mind, don't care but I had to say something. Aromantics aren't sex-obsessed lone commitment phobes they just do not feel romanticly attracted to anybody and a romantic attraction towards them makes them uncomfortable. They assign bigger meaning to platonic relationships and maby even crave an exclusive one. We have feelings, they're just not romantic feelings.

[–]oofreesouloo⚡super lesbian⚡ 18 insightful - 1 fun18 insightful - 0 fun19 insightful - 1 fun -  (10 children)

For me, there is only emotional connection. What will differentiate close platonic friendships from relationships will be the sexual part. As a lesbian, I'm only capable of feeling sexual attraction towards women, but as a human being, I can develop emotional connection with both men and women. That's it lol. I don't understand what is "romantic feelings" honestly.

[–]Lizzythelezzo 4 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 0 fun5 insightful - 1 fun -  (9 children)

I've talked to people who define themselves as aromantic and basically it means they never experiences crushes or feelings of infatuation. I think it would be more accurate to say they are "non-limerent" as they don't experience limerence. However people have romantic relationships without the experience of limerence/infatuation/crushing. Also most of them are asexual or on the ace spectrum but your mileage may vary.

[–]oofreesouloo⚡super lesbian⚡ 4 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 0 fun5 insightful - 1 fun -  (8 children)

Yes, but that makes sense for asexual people and I get that, as they don't experience sexual attraction. What I don't get is "aromantic" homo or bi or heterosexuals, so people who actually experience sexual attraction and feelings of infatuation like OP. Like I had already said:

I think people who DON'T lack sexual attraction and identify as aromantic have mental issues/commitment issues/attachment style issues/trauma/etc etc etc to address.