BisexualDoes anyone else feel like bisexuals are kinda just left out?

submitted by N0b00dy from (i.imgur.com)

all 47 comments
sorted by:
top
newinsightfulfun

[–]yousaythosethingsFind and Replace "gatekeeping" with "having boundaries" 28 insightful - 1 fun28 insightful - 0 fun29 insightful - 1 fun -  (8 children)

I think bisexuals would benefit if they aimed to create more of their spaces and things. Otherwise it seems like bisexuals are doomed to float between gay and straight worlds not feeling like they fit in. Be the change you wanna see in the world. You guys could be the cool kids.

[–]oofreesouloo⚡super lesbian⚡ 17 insightful - 1 fun17 insightful - 0 fun18 insightful - 1 fun -  (7 children)

I have to agree with this. For example, me as a lesbian, feel pretty much left out on a daily basis. In a group of hetero female friends, there will be always a part of me (my homosexuality that they don't understand) who will feel left out somehow and this also applies if it were a group of bisexual women or a mix group of hetero and bi women. Bi women will understand straight women, I'll never will and thats why I would also feel left out somehow. This is the reason why it's so important for lesbians to have their own places, and I would argue the same for bisexual people because you're neither straight nor gay so it's also very easy to feel constantly "in between".

[–][deleted] 10 insightful - 2 fun10 insightful - 1 fun11 insightful - 2 fun -  (0 children)

it's also very easy to feel constantly "in between".

Or constantly told to "pick a side."

[–]OPPRESSED_REPTILIANIntersex male | GNC | Don't call me "a gay", "twink" or "queen" 8 insightful - 5 fun8 insightful - 4 fun9 insightful - 5 fun -  (2 children)

"Do any other bi people feel left out and exclud-" "NO ACTUALLY I'M THE ONE WHO HAS IT HARD, YOU BI PEOPLE ARE IN LEAGUE WITH THE STRAIGHTS, REE GO MAKE YOUR OWN COMMUNITIES!"

This is why "LGB solidarity" is a lie. Bi people can't even breathe without L/G throwing a goddamn tantrum over them. Christ.

[–]oofreesouloo⚡super lesbian⚡ 18 insightful - 1 fun18 insightful - 0 fun19 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

This bisexual person hasn't explained why she/he is feeling left out exactly. Therefore, I had to make a generalized answer based on a generalized rant. And you're putting lots of words in my mouth I didn't say lmao.

[–]les4leshomonormative 10 insightful - 1 fun10 insightful - 0 fun11 insightful - 1 fun -  (2 children)

Yeah it's pretty tough to be the "in between" (I'm mixed-race so I would have a slightly different experience than bisexuals would but I think there might be some commonality there)

I think bisexuals also don't network with each other, there aren't bisexual bars or clubs or groups in the same way that there are gay bars and clubs so they do end up having to choose between straight and gay spaces a lot of the time, I imagine that must feel alienating as hell

[–]oofreesouloo⚡super lesbian⚡ 10 insightful - 1 fun10 insightful - 0 fun11 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Definitely! I agree with you 100%. That's why I agreed with yousaythosethings and said it would be beneficial for them to have their own places as well, just like it's beneficial for lesbians to have their own.

[–]rockhard288 7 insightful - 1 fun7 insightful - 0 fun8 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

A lot of bi people are closeted or in hiding. And it appears many already blend within hetero society and are not publicly out so it's more difficult to find them to create such a thing. Though going on the dating apps, twitter and tumblr that would seem impossible as a lot of guys at in my area swing bi (at least when it comes towards anonymous sex).

[–]haveanicedaytoo💗💜💙 20 insightful - 1 fun20 insightful - 0 fun21 insightful - 1 fun -  (19 children)

I felt 100% left out in the 90's and 2000's and in comparison, this is slightly better, but now I feel left out in my own community, LOL. I had to leave /r/bisexuals because it was filled with "bi colors" posts, people brainstorming bi-culture ideas like lemon bars, cuffed jeans, and sitting stupidly in chairs, and then there were the "I am so GAY!" posts, and people would throw literal tantrums if you said "But... You are bi?" because "OMG GAY is an umbrella term and everyone is allowed to be gay, Susan!"

/r/truebisexuals was slowly flourishing, people were even doing "bisexual culture" posts (like posting about actual bisexual people from history, NOT lemon bars) but banmageddon ruined it. My only problem with that sub was, there were a handful of users there, maybe 3, especially one particular user (this person wasn't in dropthet, so I'm not shadily calling anyone here out, I promise) trying to start shit with the /r/truelesbians sub and it's like........ STOOOOOOOOOOOPPPPPPPPPPPP holy fuck, just STAHP! You know? Let them complain about bi girls, they need a space where they can complain, just leave them alone and stop spying on them. I don't want crying about biphobia and lesbians to be a part of bi culture.

I think bisexuals need to write books and make movies and create content and just organically create a bisexual culture. For example, Eleanor from The Good Place, she is so casually bi, and such a great character, and there are more and more good bi characters on these shows. It's not like the 90's where all the bi's were sexy murderous evil villains, or creepy oversexed women who have predatory personalities that don't exist in real life that were written by men with erections at 3 in the morning.

I think step 1 has to be to crawl out of L and G ass, step out of the S shadow, and just do our own thing. There are more Bi's than L and G combined. We are our own biggest roadblock because we keep trying to fit in with them instead of doing our own thing.

[–]oofreesouloo⚡super lesbian⚡ 12 insightful - 1 fun12 insightful - 0 fun13 insightful - 1 fun -  (5 children)

You're beautiful <3 I 100% agree with you on everything. This part in particular:

I had to leave /r/bisexuals because it was filled with "bi colors" posts, people brainstorming bi-culture ideas like lemon bars, cuffed jeans, and sitting stupidly in chairs, and then there were the "I am so GAY!" posts, and people would throw literal tantrums if you said "But... You are bi?" because "OMG GAY is an umbrella term and everyone is allowed to be gay, Susan!"

I was banned (temporarily) from s/ lesbians for criticizing this kind of shit LOL. Because this kind of stupid shit also happens in lesbian (and also gay men) community. "Oh look at me, I'm so gay, look, I dress so gay, I act so gay, I sit so gay". I hate these kind of stupid shit in the LGB(tq+) community.

[–]haveanicedaytoo💗💜💙 6 insightful - 1 fun6 insightful - 0 fun7 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

<3 <3 <3

[–]BigMommyMilkersYes, they're real 5 insightful - 3 fun5 insightful - 2 fun6 insightful - 3 fun -  (3 children)

I was reading through the s/Lesbians moderator log a couple days ago and saw your name pop up so many times like damn they've got it out for her lmao

[–]oofreesouloo⚡super lesbian⚡ 5 insightful - 1 fun5 insightful - 0 fun6 insightful - 1 fun -  (2 children)

Ahahahah. 😂😂😂 What is moderator log exactly by the way?

[–]BigMommyMilkersYes, they're real 4 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 0 fun5 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

It's like a record of the threads and comments that were deleted or changed. Which mod deleted them and who the comments/thread were made by

[–]oofreesouloo⚡super lesbian⚡ 4 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 0 fun5 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Thanks! :)

[–]Seahorse 10 insightful - 1 fun10 insightful - 0 fun11 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Thank you for being understanding about lesbian spaces.

Some bisexuals are as bad as trans people with screeching of supposed biphobia.

The r/bisexual is as bad as /traaaa for delusion and echo chamber.

[–]xanditAGAB (Assigned Gay at Birth) 7 insightful - 6 fun7 insightful - 5 fun8 insightful - 6 fun -  (11 children)

what does it mean that I am gay but like lemon bars

[–]haveanicedaytoo💗💜💙 10 insightful - 5 fun10 insightful - 4 fun11 insightful - 5 fun -  (6 children)

You are appropriating bi culture! How very dare you??

Lol don't even get me started on the "You guys... I don't like lemon bars or sitting stupidly in chairs or do finger guns... Am I really bi?" posts. And some of the people who posted this shit were 20-something ADULTS not clueless teens!

[–]PeakingPeachEaterfemale♀ | detrans🦎 | eater of peaches 🍑 6 insightful - 3 fun6 insightful - 2 fun7 insightful - 3 fun -  (5 children)

I don't know if I should laugh or cry at that lol.

I never understood the "bi culture" that r/bisexuals was trying to create. It seems very...rAnDoM.

[–]haveanicedaytoo💗💜💙 6 insightful - 4 fun6 insightful - 3 fun7 insightful - 4 fun -  (4 children)

You're laughing but Katy t3h PeNgU1N oF d00m was bi too.... LOL

[–]FrostyNugsI'm allergic to nuts 5 insightful - 8 fun5 insightful - 7 fun6 insightful - 8 fun -  (3 children)

hi every1 im bi!!!!!!! holds up lemon bar my name is katy but u can call me t3h b1SeXuAl oF d00m!!!!!!!! lol…as u can see im very bi!!!! thats why i came here, 2 meet bi ppl like me _… im 30 years old (still judge my worth based on internet comments tho!!) i like 2 wear cuffed jeans w/ my polyamorous triad (im poly if u dont like it deal w/it) its our favorite fashion choice!!! bcuz its SOOOO bi!!!! Xirs bi 2 of course but i want 2 meet more bi ppl =) like they say the more the merrier!!!! lol…neways i hope 2 make alot of freinds here so give me lots of commentses!!!! FINGER GUNS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! <--- me bein bi again _^ hehe…toodles!!!!!

love and waffles,

t3h biSeXuAl oF d00m

[–]haveanicedaytoo💗💜💙 5 insightful - 2 fun5 insightful - 1 fun6 insightful - 2 fun -  (0 children)

OMG HAHAHAHAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! This was perfect!!!!

[–]reluctant_commenter 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

Holy shit, is that a new parody you just made up? That's fantastic haha.

[–]FrostyNugsI'm allergic to nuts 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Yes it is, it was just too good of a concept to pass up lol. You can thank haveanicedaytoo for that.

[–]Seahorse 8 insightful - 1 fun8 insightful - 0 fun9 insightful - 1 fun -  (2 children)

I'm not pleased that the bis claimed lemon bars when lemon is slang for lesbian in some circles.

[–]biggreensunglasses 3 insightful - 6 fun3 insightful - 5 fun4 insightful - 6 fun -  (1 child)

I'd take you to the lemon bar 😏

[–]PenseePansyBio-Sex or Bust 3 insightful - 3 fun3 insightful - 2 fun4 insightful - 3 fun -  (0 children)

[singing in Electric Six]

I... WANNA TAKE YOU TO THE LEMON BAR, LEMON BAR!

(where we'll also start a nuclear war... somehow)

[–]PenseePansyBio-Sex or Bust 4 insightful - 2 fun4 insightful - 1 fun5 insightful - 2 fun -  (0 children)

Maybe your tastebuds are bi? :)

Reminds me of the black-people-like-fried-chicken/grape-soda stereotype, which-- as soon as I learned of it-- instantly prompted the thought, "Well, who DOESN'T?"

So I guess we're all bi black people then! (pass the fried chicken, grape soda, & lemon bars, pleez YUM)

[–][deleted] 19 insightful - 1 fun19 insightful - 0 fun20 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

I think bisexuality is over represented for women and under represented for men in media and those kweer educational posts.

[–]PeakingPeachEaterfemale♀ | detrans🦎 | eater of peaches 🍑 8 insightful - 1 fun8 insightful - 0 fun9 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Yeah, I was going to post a comment about that--I hardly see much representation about bisexual men. It would be nice to see more representation of that.

I noticed that people tend to say that "Bi men are secretly gay" and "Bi women are secretly straight". Kinda sucks.

[–]Lesbianese⚢ 11 insightful - 1 fun11 insightful - 0 fun12 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

As a Zoomer, I actually see bisexuality talked about a ton, so perhaps it's a generational thing? Although, a lot of the bisexuals I've seen have been pretty heavily wrapped up in queer theory so I could see how isolating it'd feel to be a sane bisexual. I think it comes down to bisexuals not having spaces in real life, bisexuals seem to congregate online more.

Unfortunately this is going to be especially difficult to pull off right now due to the woke people making it offensive to have IRL communities that don't include every person who breathes. I'm sure it doesn't help that there's a lot of hostility from LG, like old stereotypes, vilification of heterosexual attraction, pick a side, and for a while TQ+ held bisexuality up as the /good/ sexuality because you'd (hypothetically) fuck them. Until they decided to turn on you in favor of pansexuality. Ugh.

Not to say that there isn't justified criticism from LG of B but I feel like people are just jerks sometimes.

[–]PeakingPeachEaterfemale♀ | detrans🦎 | eater of peaches 🍑 7 insightful - 1 fun7 insightful - 0 fun8 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Hate Frieza but love Dragon Ball lol.

Yeah...It kinda feels like we're floating around here sometimes.

Maybe like another commentor say, we would most likely benefit by creating our own space so we're not feeling left behind...Our experiences are a bit different than theirs and theirs are a bit different than ours.

It would be interesting if there were groups that talked about bi issues or ways to meet other bi people(bars, gaming, hobbies, family life, etc) or learning more about bi history or seeing representation...(That ISN'T TQ+ related, it seems like bisexuals tend to get lumped in with TQ when we DON'T want to be...)

Then maybe we'll be able to have a real bisexual "culture" that ISN'T related to bisexual bob hair cuts, cuffed jeans, lemon bars or any childish/superficial thing like those.

[–]OPPRESSED_REPTILIANIntersex male | GNC | Don't call me "a gay", "twink" or "queen" 6 insightful - 2 fun6 insightful - 1 fun7 insightful - 2 fun -  (12 children)

This sub in particular seems to hate bi people and think they are "oppressive." Or at least, only lesbians and gay men are SPECIAL and OPPRESSED so they need to be the focus.

Sorry OP, but I hope you're ready for a shitstorm in the comments. People can't be civil about it.

[–]les4leshomonormative 10 insightful - 1 fun10 insightful - 0 fun11 insightful - 1 fun -  (5 children)

i feel like this is conflating our feelings about the (generally more sane) bisexuals on lgbdropthet for our feelings about ~queer community~ bisexuals (or "bisexuals")

i see more complaining in lesbian spaces than i do here fwiw

[–]FrostyNugsI'm allergic to nuts 7 insightful - 6 fun7 insightful - 5 fun8 insightful - 6 fun -  (3 children)

To be fair, most lesbian spaces are literally nothing but complaining about everything under the sun .

[–]Seahorse 4 insightful - 2 fun4 insightful - 1 fun5 insightful - 2 fun -  (0 children)

Yes lol.

Very negative.

[–]les4leshomonormative 2 insightful - 3 fun2 insightful - 2 fun3 insightful - 3 fun -  (0 children)

Lmao truth

[–]Lessom 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Haha agreed.

[–]xanditAGAB (Assigned Gay at Birth) 8 insightful - 1 fun8 insightful - 0 fun9 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

the bisexuals here aren't the ones that are canceling homosexuals, its the qt+ ones

[–]yousaythosethingsFind and Replace "gatekeeping" with "having boundaries" 9 insightful - 1 fun9 insightful - 0 fun10 insightful - 1 fun -  (5 children)

I think there’s a lot of harmony with the Bi people on here actually. More than on reddit for sure.

[–]BiHorror 6 insightful - 2 fun6 insightful - 1 fun7 insightful - 2 fun -  (4 children)

I mean... It is better than reddit but eh.

[–]yousaythosethingsFind and Replace "gatekeeping" with "having boundaries" 4 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 0 fun5 insightful - 1 fun -  (3 children)

What have you been seeing? The only thing I can think of is that people (especially lesbians) call out that those who push sexual fluidity are necessarily bisexual and often don’t realize they are and that most people are not like them. I think this must be true but I don’t project that on every other bisexual person and blame them.

[–]BiHorror 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (2 children)

I don’t project that on every other bisexual person and blame them

It's that bit right there. Obviously it's not everyone on this sub, but just a minority who seem to project on every bisexual (especially bi women).

There's obviously some issues with the bisexual community (or lack of since there really isn't one, especially a stable one), but shit, it feels real alienating when some speak ill against bis w/o separating the good and bad apples. So it makes it just seem as if it's all bis. Especially when there's issues in each community, but those some are gonna act like their shit don't stink.

[–]reluctant_commenter 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

Obviously it's not everyone on this sub, but just a minority who seem to project on every bisexual (especially bi women).

I have also seen this some on here and it's made me cringe.

The reason I haven't challenged it is because often on bisexual-related threads on s/lesbians, if you at all try to call someone out for generalizing about bisexuals, they'll be like "oh you must be bisexual then, why do you care" which is ridiculous. I realize this isn't s/lesbians, but I am still struggling to come to terms with being lesbian myself and am just not up for that kind of shitty conversation right now.

[–]BiHorror 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Ah, that majority sucks. With their logic, people shouldn't even be able to complain about lesbian (or any other generalization for that matter) stereotypes/generalization without being seen as one then.

Also, hope you come into terms! Especially happily on your own w/o those types of conversations from them.

[–]Seahorse 5 insightful - 2 fun5 insightful - 1 fun6 insightful - 2 fun -  (0 children)

Left out how?

[–]TalerTest 4 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 0 fun5 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Left out of what?