This comment is going to be all over the place, sorry. I'm in a blahblahblah mood.

In the first part of your post, I would add a #3: Trans people pretending to be non-trans LGB and speaking on our behalf to welcome trans into LGB spaces. I literally just made a different comment about this in another thread an hour ago.

Now to your first question, I've said this before but I believe there are a huge amount of confused bisexuals out there, the majority of them think they are straight, but many of them think they are gay/lesbian too.

I think they just don't understand what ZERO attraction to a particular sex means because they've never experienced it. I try to explain it to them like, 'You know how your sexual attraction to babies and children is ZERO no matter how pretty and cute they are? Well, it's like that, LG and S, their attraction to one sex is ABSOLUTELY FUCKING ZERO.' But somehow it's so difficult to push this idea into their brains if they've already decided they are LG or S and formed their whole identities around it. They think just because they like one sex waaay more than the other, that means they are monosexual. I've actually seen a "Gay guy" argue with other gay guys about not only how he CHOSE to be gay but that they all chose to be gay too, they just won't admit it because they are too invested in this "born this way" lie.

And it's like......... Dude... You never once considered that maybe you are capable of being attracted to both but choosing to be only with men, but they LITERALLY AREN'T capable of being attracted to both??? I don't understand why this is such a difficult concept.

But the attitude always ends up being "I'm right, the rest of the world is wrong!"

Another point I can make about your first question is this: I've witnessed this firsthand in the past with bisexuals trying to escape the stigma of bisexuality by calling themselves pansexual, queer, or 'I don't label myself.' When I was out as bisexual, even though I lived and spent time in major, progressive, LGBT-heavy American cities, people often gave me a hard time about being bi. They got sour looks on their faces, made snarky comments about 'bi now, gay later' and some of them even demanded that I was a lesbian in denial. It was such a rare occasion to get a "You're bi??? Me too! Hi-five!" or at least an "Oh, okay, cool" (with a shrug) that it got to the point where whenever I said it, I was already ready for disappointment. So I can see other people taking the easy way out and opting out of the bi-label altogether.

Back then if you called yourself pansexual, it gave the image of being a mystical, hippie-dippie flower child who does yoga and lives a vegan lifestyle or something, IDK. If you called yourself queer, it gave the image of being mysterious, edgy, colored hair, alternative lifestyle punkrock activist kind of vibe. Even 'I don't label myself' gave off an air of 'I'm a confident person just living my life and not needing approval.' Whereas all bisexuality had was... Baggage.

The part I bolded above... The IDENTITY, I think that's the biggest problem here. People want to identify with a tribe, and they see L,G,P,Q, and even 'I don't label myself' as a much cooler tribe to belong to than bisexual (and for me that is weird, because obviously we are the most awesome!?!?) But basically these are delusional people who are lying to themselves and it sucks. If you are genuinely confused and don't realize you're bi, because you think everyone feels the same way you do, that's fine. We have no idea what other people truly experience on the inside, so it's easy to assume everyone feels the same way we do. You have to work a little bit harder and pull your head out of your own ass before you can figure out "What if the way I feel about men and women isn't the way all LGS feel about men and women?" And I blame this on the society being so heteronormative. From the moment you're born, you're told you're STRAIGHTSTRAIGHTSTRAIGHTTHEREISNOTOTHEROPTIONONLYSTRAIGHT. And for L's and G's, this is easier to figure out as a falsehood, (and some of them struggle a whole lifetime to get there) but for B's, because it's true that we like the opposite sex we just automatically assume that we are straight like we've been told, it's much harder for us to realize that actual straight people don't feel the way we do.

And in the same way, some B's jump to the conclusion of, 'well, I'm really really sexually attracted to same sex, so I'm obviously L/G' and for whatever reason they push down their feelings of attraction for opposite sex, the same way 'straight' bisexuals push down their feelings of attraction to the same sex.

Anyway, this is getting way too long now. Thanks for reading if anyone read this far.