Why can’t my famous gender non-conforming friends get laid?

submitted by ChunkeeguyTeam T*RF Fuck Yeah from vice.com

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[–]PlayCardsNotPeople 17 insightful - 5 fun17 insightful - 4 fun18 insightful - 5 fun -  (15 children)

This reminded me of something that happened a while back.
I was out with a friend and we ended up chatting with this couple - a trans woman and wife, who were from another country.
Later we all went to a gay / lesbian bar and so many gay guys were hitting on this trans woman.
Can anyone explain to me what that's about?

[–]szalinskikidproblematic androphile 23 insightful - 1 fun23 insightful - 0 fun24 insightful - 1 fun -  (2 children)

Since trans women are male and no amount of make-up will change that, it's objectively normal for a gay man to be attracted to one. If they can ignore the plethora of mental illnesses that come attached with many T and gender identity focused individuals that is. I personally can't relate, but it makes sense that gender identity is irrelevant when it comes to sexual orientation. Another fun fact: for decades, transsexuals/transvestites were mostly gay men. They didn't demand to be regarded as women, and they were just a regular part of the gay community. It's not a new thing that gay men frequently dated transsexual men (NOT "trans men"). It also depends on how far the trans woman has transitioned, I guess. Is "she" just wearing a wig, or did "she" have a sex change? There are also many trans identified females who just look like butch lesbians and their identity alone doesn't remove them from a lesbian's dating pool, either. Then there are also fetishists who like gender bending/role reversal stuff, for lots of reasons. They might not even be gay and just hang out it those clubs in order to date trans women specifically.

[–]PlayCardsNotPeople 12 insightful - 1 fun12 insightful - 0 fun13 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

She had a pretty cool sort of rock 'n roll vibe, passing from a distance. Had transitioned a long time ago, no wigs were involved.
The historical aspect is a good point, that does explain stuff. Nobody involved was under 40, lol.

[–]ghostraider 7 insightful - 1 fun7 insightful - 0 fun8 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

As a somewhat older lesbian, trans men where quite common in our places too. You would have just butches and then trans men, meaning they had medically transition up to some point. I remember seeing "complains" in twitter from 5yr ago, when all this movement was starting to go mainstream, of trans males complaining lesbians would accept females transing in their spaces lol.

[–]RedEyedWarriorGay | Male | 🇮🇪 Irish 🇮🇪 | Antineoliberal | Cocks are Compulsory 10 insightful - 1 fun10 insightful - 0 fun11 insightful - 1 fun -  (3 children)

How far has this trans woman gone towards looking like a woman?

[–]PlayCardsNotPeople 10 insightful - 2 fun10 insightful - 1 fun11 insightful - 2 fun -  (2 children)

I dunno. On a scale of 1-10, maybe an 8?
The reason we went to talk to them, was because in the first bar we were in, my friend spotted them and thought they were lesbians. As soon as you were face to face though, there was no doubt.

[–]RedEyedWarriorGay | Male | 🇮🇪 Irish 🇮🇪 | Antineoliberal | Cocks are Compulsory 8 insightful - 1 fun8 insightful - 0 fun9 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

By 8 you mean, still looks like a man up close?

Even if he transitions as far as he can, a transwoman can still be spotted by looking at the jaw or the hands. Or listen to his voice.

[–]PlayCardsNotPeople 5 insightful - 1 fun5 insightful - 0 fun6 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

From across the room you couldn't tell, but up close there was no doubt.
Most transwomen, I'd say you can spot from across the room, so I'd give that an 8.

[–]LiterallyawomanTERF IRL 9 insightful - 2 fun9 insightful - 1 fun10 insightful - 2 fun -  (6 children)

Gay men are attracted to men even ones with “girl-dick” because they’re meeeeeeen

[–]PlayCardsNotPeople 4 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 0 fun5 insightful - 1 fun -  (5 children)

Right, but I've never seen an actual gay man get that much attention in a gay bar.

[–]LiterallyawomanTERF IRL 5 insightful - 1 fun5 insightful - 0 fun6 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

Do you think they perceived them as doing drag and just found them attractive? If this person was trans but you can tell they’re uh, born male, men who like men will still find them attractive. Look at all the gay relationships in Anne Rice novels for example-men loving femme or beautiful men/vampires

[–]PlayCardsNotPeople 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

No idea what they thought, that's why I asked here, because it had been puzzling me.

[–]Criticallacitirc 4 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 0 fun5 insightful - 1 fun -  (2 children)

Sometimes back when I would bring a girl with me to gay bars, I would find the girl would get a lot of attention. I never quite figured out what the game was. I think its easier for them to go up to a girl , then hope they get attention from the guy(s) in the group. The dynamics of the way gay men interact with each other is all sorts of fucked up.

[–]PlayCardsNotPeople 5 insightful - 1 fun5 insightful - 0 fun6 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Weird. I love dancing in a gay bar full of dudes, cause I'm completely invisible, because, I'm not a dude.
It's not that they are ignoring me, it's that as far they are concerned, I don't exist. And the music's decent :)

[–]Veneficca 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Agree. I get a lot of attention from men in gay bars - some are "straight" guys taking their first steps out of the closet, and then reverting to what they know. But most are out guys who are hoping to meet my cute male friends by chatting me up.

[–]lairacunda 4 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 0 fun5 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Working for woke points.