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[–]yousaythosethings 22 insightful - 1 fun22 insightful - 0 fun23 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Two things I thought as I was reading this. First, this person transitioned very young and is now facing the prospect of being a middle-aged "woman," which has a lot less appeal. AGPs tend to be much more delusional about what they look like because they're attracted to a fantasy in their own head whereas many HSTS like this person often take more concrete steps to look like the women in heterosexual porn. So they'll be more painfully aware of when their looks are fading and they're no longer living up the porn fantasy standard. I suspect there's at least something like that going on here.

Two, the full-time job analogy is telling. Transitioning is a way for a lot of people to not put real work into bettering themselves. So instead of focusing on developing mentally and emotionally, and investing in life skills, job skills, and their health, they forgo all of that and focus on transitioning which seems more elusive and rewarding It means they are taking away productivity from the rest of their lives by coming out and transitioning. This is the literal opposite of being gay. Staying in the closet and living an awkward and uncomfortable life where you know you don't fit in with heterosexual norms and trying to keep that on the down low takes a lot of mental energy. Coming out is this hurdle and discomfort you have to get past so you can free yourself up, not devote so much energy into trying to be what you're not, and just living the rest of your life after that. Or at least it was like that before the "queers" turned gay into a personality and aesthetic that they now expect everyone to perform.