Alright simply because I've been trying for months to find actual feminist spaces, I'm not going to argue against you because you obviously care about women. I'm not going to be your enemy, I just want to talk about this nuanced issue. When I say I wouldn't experience consequences, I'm talking specifically about me and not every woman. I know for sure that women face consequences for not being "womanly." I'm talking about only my experiences.

I was never expected to perform femininity. Seriously. I grew up in the non glamorous part of NYC where being able to stand up for yourself was much more important than how hot you were, by a non-feminine, nonreligious single mom who never pressured me about how to present myself. I'm the only one of my friends who wears dresses and doesn't have a pixie cut, so no pressure from my peers either. It's "in" right now to be a masculine girl in my circle. In fact I've noticed the boys like non-feminine girls here more. My "tomboy" best friend got much more male attention than I did when we were in school. So no pressure to impress the boys there either (I was/am a goth artsy type so I was always, pretty much by default, dressing for myself. Whoever was into it was into it, I wasn't trying to attract any flies.) I was never told I had to wear this, or couldn't cut my hair short (I've rocked the pixie myself), or needed to look like this because I'm a woman, and can't look like that because I'm not a man. Never. (again, only speaking for me.) Yet all my role models are feminine - I can't help it, I love kickass feminine ladies. I like looking "classy," and I'm the only one around me that has that aesthetic. I don't really rock the androgynous look, nor do I feel that it's me in the slightest.

I know the patriarchy exists but I am the way I am because I am the way I am. I fucking love dresses and skirts and I also kickbox, like metal music and have an almost perfect gpa. About heels - I'm 5'1 so I feel pretty ridiculous wearing flat shoes, because people already mistake me for a teenager because of my face. I wear slightly platformed shoes (not skinny stilettos) because it literally makes me feel like I'm a person and not a toddler. Purely a height thing. If I were a few inches taller I'd wear heels less, perhaps. As it is though it's almost necessary for my self esteem because of my height. When I'm going to a party, I wear heels to go with my outfit. My best friend goes in sneakers. We're both cool people. I'm the feminist, while she doesn't really pay attention to anything political.

I feel for and know the kind of women you're talking about, painstakingly trying to be as hot as they can be for the patriarchy or to please the men around them... it's just, you have to acknowledge the existence that some women just like to dress up for themselves too.

I wear makeup, too, doesn't mean it's a feminist statement.

Can it just be neutral? Can men and women just use makeup as an art form, or as an optional beautifying tool, without it being drenched in horrible sexism and patriarchy and homophobia or whatever makeup becomes depending on whoever it's applied to? It's makeup - let whoever wants to wear it wear it, and whoever doesn't, doesn't have to. It's just pigment.