IRL I have an old acquaintance who is a TIM. I wouldn't like scream at him on the street or anything; he mostly makes me sad. I think he became what he is out of internalized homophobia. His parents did a number on him.

The other is a TIF who is married to my friend. Similar story with her. She suffered horrible abuse at the hands of her parents. I think it makes her feel safer to live as a man. I don't go out of my way to spend time with her, but I do really like her wife.

The one thing that drives me nuts about my friend is she's such an aggressive TRA-- way moreso than her spouse, the TIF! But we have learned not to talk about trans issues for the most part. She's gotten the hint from me that we don't see eye to eye, so we leave it alone. Then our mutual friend is a TRA man (less aggressive about it tho), but somewhat gender non-conforming and male identifying. I think he also can sense the TERF-iness from me, but we are friends.

I just don't go off about my beliefs, and I like them all as people. They all mean well. It's more about setting boundaries-- I don't put up with casual sexism, for example. No slurs around me, please. I do not think I could be friends with an actual autogynephile, which seems to be what a lot of the TIMs are these days.