Teaching women to be afraid hurts women

submitted by squintypreyeyes from self.GenderCritical

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[–]ImPiqued1111111 12 insightful - 1 fun12 insightful - 0 fun13 insightful - 1 fun -  (5 children)

Somewhat related, I've mentioned before on the old sub that I don't like the language of "survivor" in place of "victim". The insinuation is that it's shameful to say actually, somebody did something to me. When in reality, I have no choice but to try to keep surviving, but it doesn't mean I'm doing ok, it doesn't mean I'm strong, and I don't need to wear "survivor" as a badge of honor when I'm just struggling to get up in the morning and brush my teeth.

It it makes someone feel better to term themselves a survivor after a traumatic event, I won't begrudge them. But I really dislike the shift towards it seeming like a requirement, otherwise you're branded as an inferior poor-me attention grabber who's wallowing in it.

[–]jkfinn 9 insightful - 1 fun9 insightful - 0 fun10 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

"Survivor" is to victim what "senior" is to old or what "passing" is to dying. Only worse, because "survivor" is more enforced, and covers up more.

[–]ImPiqued1111111 4 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 0 fun5 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Good point!

[–]MarkTwainiac 7 insightful - 1 fun7 insightful - 0 fun8 insightful - 1 fun -  (2 children)

If you look into the history of the term "survivor," you'll find it first originated amongst and for Jews (and others) victimized by the Nazis and subject to extermination during the Holocaust of WW2. In the first years/decades after the rise and fall of Nazism, Jews and others were routinely vilified for not fighting back, for going to their mass executions "like lambs to a slaughter."

The term "survivor" was originally raised or coined to bring attention to the people the Nazis tried to slaughter en masse on the spot in their villages, towns and cities who managed to escape as well as the hundreds of thousands/millions who were sent to Nazi death camps but somehow managed to survive. Only later was the same locution adopted by those who had experienced sexual assault and their advocates.

[–]ImPiqued1111111 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

Ah, I didn't know that about Jewish survivors. I definitely have no objection to usage of that terminology around that. Not for me to do so.

I was more talking about sexual assault and domestic violence, which I think somewhere during the 90s, the language around that began to change. If I remember correctly, the idea was about empowerment, but I think it takes away emphasis from the perpetrator and places too much responsibility on the victim (or survivor if you prefer).

[–]MarkTwainiac 8 insightful - 1 fun8 insightful - 0 fun9 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Yes, your portrayal of what happened is spot on, except for the decade. It was in the (late) 1970s that persons the Nazis slated for extermination and sent to death camps but who managed to remain alive started to be referred to as "survivors."

It was in the early-mid 1980s that public attention started to admit and be focused on child sex abuse as well as on widespread sexual violence against girls and women. With and following those changes, the term "survivor" was extended to refer to victims of sexual assault in both childhood and adulthood