Be nice!

submitted by Camberian from (self.GenderCritical)

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    [–]greenish 28 insightful - 1 fun28 insightful - 0 fun29 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

    It's not "misgendering", it's 'correctly observing the sex of'. It's kind of the core of our political concerns. How can we possibly discuss these issues if we're forced to use the very sex-obscuring language that we object to, because it erases our biological experiences, class, and the experiences that stem from them?

    Agreeing that "misgendering" and "deadnaming" are rude has led to things like pedophiles being able to disappear their past, the media reporting male criminals as female, and rape victims being forced to refer to the man who raped them as "she" in court.

    Agreeing to use the preferred pronouns of some people and not others because we dis/approve of them is bullshit. We're naming reality, because we have to, otherwise we've lost our argument and the right to speak before we even begin, not rewarding certain people we like by conceding to their delusions because we don't want to hurt their feelings. Their feeling are their own responsibility, and if they go against material reality then they are not being reasonable if they expect everyone else to pretend that material reality doesn't exist. Especially when they try to make the observance of it illegal, or there are consequences like ostracization/doxxing/losing your job. Then it becomes even more important to name the truth, in order to fight that happening.

    [–]Freetochoose 8 insightful - 1 fun8 insightful - 0 fun9 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

    Wonderful, absolutely wonderful comment. You hit the nail on the head so well! It is bending to tras that has gotten us in this mess and we need to stop bending immediately.

    [–]Susiesmum 23 insightful - 3 fun23 insightful - 2 fun24 insightful - 3 fun -  (5 children)

    It cost us nothing to not misgender people

    It costs us the right to tell the truth. Knowing what sex someone is, yet being expected to lie about it is abusive.

    It invalidates our message and our ideas, if we do this we really seem the hateful extremists the TRAs like to paint us.

    Bullshit. TRAs will hate us whatever we say or do, simply because we know what they are and are not afraid to say so.

    Your post is a perfect demonstration of the point that the OP of this thread made.

    [–]Camberian[S] 12 insightful - 1 fun12 insightful - 0 fun13 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

    Your post is a perfect demonstration of the point that the OP of this thread made.

    Yes. You said it and spared me responding.

    [–]blackrainbow 4 insightful - 2 fun4 insightful - 1 fun5 insightful - 2 fun -  (3 children)

    We don't have to convince TRAs, we have to convince moderate and reasonable people

    [–]Susiesmum 16 insightful - 2 fun16 insightful - 1 fun17 insightful - 2 fun -  (0 children)

    Moderate and reasonable people don't demand others lie about what they can see with their own eyes. Transwomen are male.

    [–]Susiesmum 7 insightful - 1 fun7 insightful - 0 fun8 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

    Have you read this? https://saidit.net/s/GenderCritical/comments/5h9b/james_kirkup_the_bbcs_failure_to_report_gender/

    [–]catoboros 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

    Including moderate and reasonable trans people. We also got our subreddits banned. We are also called transphobic, and worse, by TRAs, just for refusing to deny the existence of biological sex.

    [–]ruskiix 16 insightful - 1 fun16 insightful - 0 fun17 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

    I get what you’re saying but we’re trying to reclaim the right to label reality accurately without being punished for not using nice friendly lies. Personally I was sold on singular “they” back in high school when it was too awkward writing without it, so I default to that if I can’t bring myself to use someone’s pronouns (and I don’t have an issue using inaccurate, preferred pronouns sometimes for trans people who don’t behave like their birth sex). I’m pretty sure Buck Angel has bigger issues in life than what pronouns GC feminists use, and it isn’t an irrelevant detail that one of the “good ones” was born female. Our fight is very much a defense against the demands of natal males, and you can’t say it costs us nothing if we’re forced to obscure that detail.

    [–]malleus_maleficarum 15 insightful - 1 fun15 insightful - 0 fun16 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

    The article "Pronouns are Rohypnol" is a great resource for understanding why so many of us refuse to use "preferred pronouns". It used to be in the sidebar of r/gendercritical for quick reference.

    https://archive.fo/b1pHk

    *I’ve heard many people tell me they don’t mind doing this, as a courtesy, although it takes some effort to keep up the mental gymnastics of perceiving one sex, but consistently using pronouns for the other. That’s a personal choice, and I respect the reasons why some people make it.

    I’ve also heard many people declaring that anyone who won’t comply (usually directed at a woman) is obnoxious, mean, hostile, and unpleasant. ‘Misgendering’ is hate speech. They say.*