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[–]72ndGender 6 insightful - 1 fun6 insightful - 0 fun7 insightful - 1 fun -  (4 children)

As a married man, I was programmed the exact same way. From early childhood, my grandma was beating into my head that I was supposed to support a woman and marry her. I wish someone would have told me how stupid the concept was, but society had the exact same message. I think marriage is a horrific deal for both parties. More people are catching on though, and we are seeing a record low in marriage rates.

[–]aldoushuxleyghost 27 insightful - 2 fun27 insightful - 1 fun28 insightful - 2 fun -  (3 children)

Wow, glad I'm not married to you. File for divorce if its that bad, buddy.

[–]72ndGender 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (2 children)

I'll wait until my kids are adults and my wife makes more money than I do.

[–]aldoushuxleyghost 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

Internet rando's opinion is not worth much I know, yet you have my respect for supporting your kids and wife even though you sound miserable. I've been married 22 years, we had a couple of rough patches. I wish you the patience and wisdom of ... someone you think has a lot of patience and wisdom.

[–]72ndGender 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I appreciate that, and I didn't mean to come off as being miserable. It's just that my wife and I both sacrificed a lot, and we really don't see what the benefit in at all was EXCEPT for our amazing children. The theme of this post was women saying how bad marriage is for women, and I was pointing out that it goes both ways. I put in way more than I get back, but I did what I was programmed to do so I only have myself to blame for doing it.

Meanwhile, we've talked seriously about divorce, but it would just make things more complicated in reality. We both agreed we wouldn't do marriage again, but we have a good relationship still, so it's not all bad. Just not a fun or free life anymore. In the meantime, I'm doing everything I can to get her through college and into the career she wants.

As a bit of irony, I was interrupted twice while typing this to get some goodnight hugs and kisses from the kids. Wouldn't trade that for anything. It makes the sacrifices feel like they are worth it.

Edit: also, thank you for the good wishes. I hope the best for you and your marriage.