There was also quite a bit of messaging regarding that sexuality can take some years to settle itself down. (Basically, teenage hormones can overcome a lot of obstacles -- don't assume from a single event, or even a couple of events that your sexuality is one thing or another.)

Ugh, I remember that too. I don't think it's a bad idea in and of itself, but combined with the homophobia and the lesbianism is a phase nonsense, it kept me closeted for close to a decade while I waited to turn heterosexual. I think there's a healthier medium between that and taking your gay child to pride, though. I wish everyone would calm down. Pride is sexual and political and I don't think children should have a place in that. I wasn't trying to make a statement or have sex as a 12 year old lesbian; I was trying to get a seat next to the girl I had a crush on in math class and work up the courage to talk in front of her. Children shouldn't be involved in activism, imo. There's time for that when they're older.

While I can't speak for everyone, and would never try, since then I've noticed that many butches exhibit behavior that is hyper-masc, or even neckbeard-y.

Take it with a grain of salt because this is my own experience and my own theory, but I've seen that behavior all around, not only from butches, and usually in lesbians around my age (20s). I think there's a lack of guidance for lesbians on how to approach other women. Nobody ever taught me, and nobody ever taught any of my lesbian friends. Lesbian relationships aren't often shown in the media. Maybe back before all the lesbian bars got shut down, we would've learned from older lesbians, but most of us came of age during that decline. We're sort of left to our own devices and I think it's tempting to try and learn the toxic, hyper-masc behavior simply due to a lack of alternatives. I also think lesbians are subjected to hypersexualization from society at large. When I was a teenager, googling "lesbian" got me several pages of porn before I could find a forum, and all the lesbian forums were filled with heterosexual couples seeking a threesome using fairly graphic language. I don't know how to flirt, and I don't think I've ever met a lesbian my age who knew how to flirt (well, truth be told, I would probably not recognize it as flirting anyhow). The lesbians I know alternate between completely friendly discussion and extremely explicit language. I don't know if that's how it always was with lesbians, but I've had heterosexual friends of both sexes express alarm, so I don't think that's how it is for straight people.