Had this friend when I was in my FtM phase, he was the typical male feminist, teaching me the ways of feminism, at the same time having so little grasp of what we go through. He was just obsessed with women and that weirded me a little but I ignored, I mean, he was just a nice guy, right? Don't see many of that where I'm from, feminism was basically an insult back then (not too long ago, just before capitalism found its way through it) so I thought "cool".

Time pass, we're good but I'm feeling exhausted of the trans community. Science is transphobic and there were a few questionable phd in (insert here whatever sound sciency and credible) saying how sex is fluid and that is a fact, cause, you see my diploma right?

He agrees with me on these instances that sex is important and not fluid and that shit, no males in female sports cause unfair, and "genital preference" is no biggie, him being a gay man himself not attracted at all by female bodies. It's nice talking to someone that won't lash out and accuse me of terveness.

But then he meets these group of TIMs on tumblr, I have zero interest engaging with them cause at this point I knew how they were even if I never changed a word with them. Men will be men. But I said nothing, just a "go ahead, make friends" Not long after engaging with them he asked me to call him 'she'. Ok, fine, I was still drinking the koolaid.. then he started correcting the terminology accepted for trans people, suddenly 'ftm' and 'mtf' wasn't accepted anymore, and I wondered, being in the trans community for so long, what did I miss? Well turns out TWAW as in being females! I was a bit surprised by his instance, since we already talked about it before and he used to agree with me, even criticize me when I went "this guy likes dressing like a girl, I bet he is trans" Him: "maybe he is just a gay guy or gnc whatever sexuality? Not everyone is trans", but then, why he was suddenly spouting that bullshit when he clearly believed sex is innate? So female lost its meaning.

He goes telling me how amazing surgeries for TIMs are, "did you knew that they self lubricate?" No, dude, I did not, because they don't. I knew a lot about this, and not a lot but enough about my own female body to know that is effing impossible for a male to self lubricate his inverted penis. But I said nothing but "eh.. interesting." I was walking on eggs.

Then he comes to me, day after day, disappointed that once more, a TIM in his group was outed as a paedophile and/or serial rapist. "Not surprising, you saw them? they look like it" I thought, but didn't voice it. I knew what he would say: "oh, so theres a 'rapist look' now?" He wouldnt understand where I'm coming from, the many cues I've learned to interpret while growing up as a female, for he was not one. Saying anything would only set me up to be accused of being a terf (I hardly knew what that meant, but they were as bad as the nazi, right?)

I don't remember what I told him exactly, but it was something along the lines "I bet they're a minority, you just got unlucky, I'm sure the others aren't like that"

After this we talked less and less. And as I grew more skeptical of gender, I distanced myself of anything related to with. A little too late though, every inch of the internet has something about it, from TWAW virtue signaling to weird sexualities related to fictional identities, and these days I even had the displeasure to read someone complaining about non binary representation.. and how ceterosexuality needs more representation and how 'the gays' have a lot more than (insert here pronoun) even if its shitty representation. Like, girl, you're a straight woman lecturing others about how 'cishets' don't belong the LGBT. I feel like my head might explode just thinking about it.

Also a thing I just recalled: my male friend (yeah, the feminist) who was very into humiliation and incest porn once said to me when I asked him if he had interest in transitioning: "I wouldn't like to be a straight woman, I would rather be a lesbian"

I would post more stuff but I guess this was too long.