Not to derail into a discussion of trauma, because my point in the previous comment is just that some things can't be changed, but: a major aspect of dealing with trauma is not making it other people's problem. Like, I'm probably just past the developmental stage where I could have learned secure attachment, so I'm probably always going to have fear of abandonment and so forth. But through the internal work I do, I'm able to decrease the amount that I hurt other people and blame it on trauma. This seems like the opposite of what you're trying to accomplish by transitioning. It seems like you're just trying to feel better yourself at any cost to others.