QT, if gender is innate to identity

submitted by HouseplantWomen who disagree with QT are a different sex from self.GCdebatesQT

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[–]theory_of_thisan actual straight crossdresser 2 insightful - 6 fun2 insightful - 5 fun3 insightful - 6 fun -  (3 children)

I take neutrality for granted. Femininity is something artificial that is only expected of women. The opposite of femininity is really neutrality, not masculinity.

Well this was said to me recently.

I find it confusing because they claim to be very masculine but also that they are neutral.

That everyone should be neutral. I find the desire that everyone should be masculine more internally cohesive as an idea. But impossible for natural reasons not because it is beyond imagining.

[–]Juniperius 9 insightful - 1 fun9 insightful - 0 fun10 insightful - 1 fun -  (2 children)

For example, it is considered feminine to pluck your eyebrows. Which takes up a stupid amount of time, and is painful, and doesn't serve any purpose except to pander to the male gaze. If a woman doesn't want to pluck her eyebrows, people may consider that "masculine," when it may just be about not wanting to waste time on something that hurts and doesn't actually improve her life. There could be any number of examples like this. Femininity is often painful, time consuming, hobbling, expensive, etc. It's possible to not do anything active to make oneself look feminine, and also not do anything active to make oneself look masculine, and the result will often be interpreted by outsiders as being masculine.

[–]theory_of_thisan actual straight crossdresser 2 insightful - 5 fun2 insightful - 4 fun3 insightful - 5 fun -  (1 child)

I don't expect male and female gender norms to be identical perfect mirrors.

It's possible to not do anything active to make oneself look feminine, and also not do anything active to make oneself look masculine, and the result will often be interpreted by outsiders as being masculine.

Well currently not cutting your hair is usually coded female. So that isn't a universal rule. Men very much are judged on what they are doing.

[–]Juniperius 6 insightful - 1 fun6 insightful - 0 fun7 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Cutting/not cutting hair is a little more complicated, though. Long hair requires a lot more care. I've grown my hair long a few times in my life, and I always end up chopping it off again because I get sick of the time it takes to keep it untangled and clean. When it's short, I barely even have to shampoo it. It's far less effort to have someone give me a trim every other month or so.