Yeah I never really understand when other gc people say self love and acceptance are solutions to dysphoria. Dysphoria is a mental condition, I don’t know that any one with any type of mental condition overcomes their condition through self love. I think self love and acceptance can certainly help some people cope with and manage it, but it’s not going to fix anything on its own. I think maybe they mean in addition to therapy and other forms of treatment. To me when I say acceptance I mean accepting the reality of your sex and what that means, and maybe even accepting for some people that while hormones and possibly surgery may alleviate discomfort, it’s not necessarily going to guarantee they pass as the opposite sex. I say it to mean accepting the reality of their circumstances, not so much as self acceptance. I just think it’s important that anyone who’s going to endure surgeries and commit to hormones that they’ll need to take for years should be in a place mentally where they can acknowledge facts, it just seems healthier in the long run.

I remember your first post, it lead to some interesting conversations and great observations. I totally get why many wouldn’t be willing, but I sincerely hope that in the near future alternative treatments are found for dysphoria, I just think the entire concept of transition is a huge gamble for anyone committing to it, and then there are always those stories of people who felt worse after or had regret (not implying that’s typical, just that once some physical things are done there’s no undoing, and that’s why I wish there was a better way to treat the mental without altering the physical).

Eta- I also wonder about the long term health effects of taking hormones for so long. Every single one of the (few) trans people I know personally all have health issues that they developed after transitioning, and I wonder if the hormones have something to do with that.

I can’t really comment on whether or not I agree that some things can’t be treated until after transitioning, I have no idea what it feels like to want to transition or what circumstances you experienced that couldn’t be dealt with until after- I just worry that someone may transition, then deal with the stuff they couldn’t deal with before and have regrets or view themselves differently. It’s the permanence of it that makes me wish all other efforts would be exhausted and any other or underlying issues dealt with first. It seems like even if you just take the hormones and nothing else, undoing that if you change your mind is complicated and takes time, and I guess I just think I’d prefer someone be able to make that decision from the healthiest mental state possible. But I also believe that it works for some people the way it worked for you.

Qt always laugh reacts when I talk about accepting reality, or they say things like « I use different definitions « or « I see things differently » but what you said is exactly what I mean by it, it’s not for the sake of people who aren’t trans, it’s for the person transitioning. I honestly think it would be beneficial to be able to acknowledge facts backed up by biology, because maybe that will help when the world doesn’t always speak, react or behave the way a trans person may wish, and maybe it would help with triggers and feeling invalidated. To me, admittedly on the outside looking in, I don’t see how a trans person can experience self love or acceptance if they can’t handle facts or be honest with themselves about their own bodies and sex (as well as sexuality, particularly other people’s sexuality)

Side note: oh my god can someone please tell me why my quotation marks are coming out like this « « ?! I don’t understand but I hate it!