GC: Is sexual attraction only based on genitals, or is there more to sexual attraction (e.g. attraction to secondary sexual characteristics, "femininity", "masculinity", etc)?

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[–]peakingatthemomentTranssexual (natal male), HSTS 4 insightful - 2 fun4 insightful - 1 fun5 insightful - 2 fun -  (15 children)

Maybe. I’m not going to try to convince him though, lol. I don’t think in a million years he could have been with a TW with a penis, so I feel like that gives him some straight points at least. I don’t go out of my way to remind him I am male though or anything like that and he doesn’t think of me that way.

[–]Not_a_celebrity[S] 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (14 children)

So you're helping deceiving him that he's with a woman? I think he's homophobic. It's like Blaire White's husband. He thinks he's with a "woman", but he's with a man. He just doesn't want to accept he's not "straight". Blaire White doesn't remind him he's in a gay relationship either, he thinks he's a "woman" in a "straight relationships". Your husband too doesn't think of you that way, which means he's deceiving himself. He doesn't want to accept he's with a man. A man that has no penis. A man without a penis is still a man. And a man that is in a relationship with a man without a penis isn't more "straight" or less "gay" just because his partner doesn't have a penis 🤔

I think it's best to remind him, and burst that bubble. It's worse to help lie to him and make him go to that grave all the while thinking he's "straight" just because his male partner removed his penis, wears dresses, etc.

[–]worried19 9 insightful - 1 fun9 insightful - 0 fun10 insightful - 1 fun -  (13 children)

I'm not sure Blaire's fiance thinks of himself as straight.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UiFPIfN99N0

Blaire also hasn't had bottom surgery.

[–]Not_a_celebrity[S] 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (12 children)

Thanks for the link. I watched that video and it bothers me that he keeps calling that "trans woman" he walked on the beach with "she", even after knowing that's a "trans woman". They seem to joke about the fiance being gay, but I don't know if he himself understands he's not "straight" outside of him joking with Blaire. He seems to be like "I dated girls before, and then trans women, it's hard to put my sexuality in a box" type? He doesn't seem to want to say he's bi or gay.

[–]worried19 8 insightful - 1 fun8 insightful - 0 fun9 insightful - 1 fun -  (11 children)

I'd call him some level of bisexual, but I also think society is too focused on labels and boxes. He is who he is, and Blaire is who she is. We're all human beings at the end of the day.

[–]Not_a_celebrity[S] 4 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 0 fun5 insightful - 1 fun -  (10 children)

It just doesn't make sense to call a man that has been with men and women anything but gay or bisexual. Bisexual doesn't mean 50/50 attraction, that's a mistake people make. When someone says they are more attracted to one sex than another people think they shouldn't be put in a box, or that labels are useless. There are varying levels of bisexuality though, and Blaire's spouse would be on one of those levels. Either that, or he's gay, and his previously dating women does not count. Blaire himself is a gay man. He has internalized homophobia, and hates being gay, that's the whole reason he thinks he's a "woman in a straight relationship".

and Blaire is who she is

He*

[–]worried19 9 insightful - 1 fun9 insightful - 0 fun10 insightful - 1 fun -  (9 children)

Well, I agree he's bisexual to some degree. As far as Blaire goes, I'm happy to use preferred pronouns for adult transsexuals who are living their lives in good faith. Blaire doesn't pretend that she's not biologically male.

[–]Not_a_celebrity[S] 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (8 children)

"She" refers to someone that is biologically female. It is contradictory to call a biological male "she" just because he feels like a woman. And he's not "living in good faith". He's a homophobe. He's anti-feminist. And he is a trans-medicalist, and trans-medicalists are worse than the ordinary "trans", because these are the ones believing that there is a "female" or "male" brain, that "gender is not a social construct", and that a "trans man" is a "male brain in a female body" or a "trans woman" is a "female brain in a male body" who should get hormones and surgery for their body to match their brain: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s9WqfBDjRF8&t=191s

Many GCs worship Blaire. While he accepts he's biologically male, he doesn't spend his day do day reminding himself of that, he thinks he's a "woman in a straight relationship", worse, a man with a "female brain". Why let a homophobe get what he wants?

I don't think using anyone's preferred pronouns is a good idea. If Blaire understands he's biologically male, he should understand he shall be treated as a biological male, not a woman just because he got surgeries and hormones to look like the most stereotypical form people think a "woman" looks like. A woman is not big boobs, make up, and dresses. And calling Blaire "she" will enforce misogyny.

[–]worried19 6 insightful - 1 fun6 insightful - 0 fun7 insightful - 1 fun -  (7 children)

Well, I take a more moderate view than that. I don't even think most GC people are that hardcore about pronouns.

It's what's called a polite courtesy. Blaire transitioned because of severe dysphoria. I don't mind a biologically incorrect pronoun for the purposes of helping out someone who's trying to live their life as best they can. Where I have a problem is people demanding pronouns or making up crazy new pronouns and generally making a big thing of it.

[–]MarkTwainiac 4 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 0 fun5 insightful - 1 fun -  (3 children)

Blaire transitioned because of severe dysphoria.

But Blaire's "dysphoria" was rooted in homophobia - society's, Blaire's family's and Blaire's own internalized homophobia. And Blaire's "gender dysphoria," like all "gender dysphoria," was/is rooted in regressive sexism and Blaire's preferences for the sex stereotypes associated the female sex. As the clinical criteria for "gender dysphoria" make clear, the only way someone can have GD is to be deeply sexist; to hew to, and be preoccupied with, sexist stereotypes; and to desire/prefer to conform to the sexist stereotypes associated with the opposite sex rather than one's own sex.

As someone who has followed Blaire since Blaire first appeared online in 2015, when Blaire's videos were all anti-feminist and IMO very anti-female, I think Blaire has evolved into someone who seems like a decent person who means well. But I find nothing admirable about Blaire's or anyone else's homophobia and sexism - and nothing admirable about Blaire's previously expressed overt misogyny and the lack of empathy Blaire once showed towards girls and women.

I also get the very strong impression that Blaire very much fetishizes aspects of the female body - which I find offensive. In Blaire's videos, Blaire usually makes a point of prominently displaying and bouncing around the factory-made, bought-off-the-shelf orbs of silicone gel or saline solution that Blaire had implanted in Blaire's chest. This strikes me as exploitative and porny. Blaire's chest orbs were so exposed and made front and center in one of Blaire's most recent videos that I had to rearrange the window on my screen so I couldn't see Blaire's chest orbs - which in my view are 3-D cartoon caricatures of female breasts that males like Blair show off so much coz they think they're better than women's real breasts.

I've also seen footage of Blaire out in public wearing skin-tight white trousers that showed Blaire to be wearing undergarments meant to give the impression that Blaire has a vulva and therefore a "camel toe."

At the same time that Blaire defends the rights of girls and women to have our own sports for females only, Blaire uses female fitting rooms, locker rooms and loos, and says males like Blaire have "earned" the right to do so by getting enough costly cosmetic surgery to believe they "pass." In my view, that's not behavior or an attitude that shows respect for female people and our distinct bodies and needs. In my view, it's just a sign of selfishness and Blaire's belief that when push comes to shove, the wants and feelings of males with "dysphoria" count more than the needs and feelings of girls and women.

[–]Not_a_celebrity[S] 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (2 children)

Up to you. I can't provide him that polite courtesy myself, just as I can't be polite when it comes to other "trans" people because I'm frankly disgusted by their ideology. I can't even bring myself to use an incorrect pronoun because it will make me as guilty as them in enforcing the ideology I disagree with. But if you want to then so be it ¯_(ツ)_/¯