Both: What is the difference between a sexuality and a preference? What makes someone straight? What makes someone gay?

submitted by peakingatthemomentTranssexual (natal male), HSTS from self.GCdebatesQT

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[–]peakingatthemomentTranssexual (natal male), HSTS[S] 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (2 children)

Thanks for sharing! Your descriptions make sense.

I don’t feel like genitals are a preference either. That seems hardwired as part of our sexual orientation and it’s beyond frustrating that people act like it’s not or insist they should be in this or that dating pool (males usually, like you say, although some females too).

I’d be really interested to hear someone explain gay or straight when then couple is opposite sex or same sex, because some trans people believe that and think it’s transphobic to say otherwise. Like, I understand that relationships can be seen as something different when trans people are involved and I’d never try to tell my husband he’s gay because that’s not super descriptive for what he is attracted too, but I still understand our relationship is technically a homosexual one and it doesn’t bother me.

[–]CatbugMods allow rape victim blaming in this sub :) 5 insightful - 1 fun5 insightful - 0 fun6 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

I can understand how for someone who is deeply emotionally invested in the idea that TWAW would find it transphobic to say that their relationship with another male is homosexual. I agree that it’s very muddied water for a man who is dating a transwoman and not attracted to male presenting men even though homosexual is technically accurate. I wouldn’t sit there and insist your husband is gay despite your marriage being a homosexual one either. Idk, a singular same sex attraction? It’s hard to even guess without any experience.

[–]peakingatthemomentTranssexual (natal male), HSTS[S] 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I agree that it’s very muddied water for a man who is dating a transwoman and not attracted to male presenting men even though homosexual is technically accurate.

The labels do get confusing (although it’s totally fine not to have a perfect one). I feel like our relationship would have never worked if I hadn’t had bottom surgery either because, obviously, he doesn’t like penises.

singular same sex attraction

That seems like a reasonable description.