Both: What do you like about being a woman or a man?

submitted by worried19 from self.GCdebatesQT

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[–]peakingatthemomentTranssexual (natal male), HSTS 3 insightful - 2 fun3 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 2 fun -  (3 children)

Most of the time, it’s sort of a neutral thing. I feel like I notice it the most when dealing with sexism and how we are seen as less human and less competent than men, so I think more about the negatives.

From what I remember when I was younger, I felt like being a girl/woman made it where people understood me better and treated me better in most ways. I liked how I was being accepted by people and being able to fully express myself without being viewed negatively. I also felt like my body fit better with how I thought of myself and that made me more comfortable being (I had been terribly afraid of my voice changing and getting big).

[–]worried19[S] 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (2 children)

Why do you think you were afraid of getting big?

There are lots of big women out there. I can understand about the voice. Having a testosterone-affected voice makes it much more difficult to pass.

[–]peakingatthemomentTranssexual (natal male), HSTS 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

Why do you think you were afraid of getting big?

Being small made me feel feminine compared to boys so I liked being small and was sort of proud of being small. Not in a sexual way, because I felt like that before I had any sexual feelings. It’s complicated to understand though even for me because I also had an eating disorder so some of those feelings could be part of that. It was/is really difficult to separate dysphoria feelings from eating disorder/dysmorphia feelings and I feel like they sort of fed each other.

[–]worried19[S] 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

That's interesting. I don't think little girls generally enjoy being small. Most kids want to grow up to be bigger than they are, or at least that's my experience. It's frustrating being a kid because you're generally powerless. I don't believe girls end up wanting to be small until they realize that society will shame them for being big. Like every kid knows being fat is "bad," but it's especially considered bad for girls and women. They might need to get a little older before they realize being tall is also shamed in women.

Maybe because I internalized male values so heavily, I was eager to be as tall as possible. But a more conforming girl would probably have realized as she got older that being tall would make her not as popular or conventionally attractive, and thus would have preferred to fit in over gaining height.

It was/is really difficult to separate dysphoria feelings from eating disorder/dysmorphia feelings

That makes sense. Sorry to hear you struggled with that.