Courtesy. I've compiled my thoughts on pronoun etiquette into a handy reference guide.

Forms of pronoun-related assholery from the pro-trans camp

• Asking people to use neo-pronouns

• Asking people to use pronouns that are obviously incongruent with your sex and getting offended if they slip up

• Expecting people to magically intuit your sex-incongruous pronouns because you're wearing eyeliner or a bowtie or whatever

• Testing people for pronoun heresy—e.g., pushing them to use the "right" pronouns instead of talking around pronouns

• Asking pronouns or using pronouns that aren't sex-based without being asked (GNC women are especially likely to encounter this flavor of jackassery)

• Forcing employees to state pronouns in their email signatures, wear pronoun badges, etc.

Forms of pronoun-related assholery from the gender critical camp

• Deliberately using sex-based pronouns to refer to a trans person in front of that trans person for the purpose of hurting their feelings and/or letting them know that you think their gender identity is silly. Being a civil adult means sometimes paying lip service to other people's pet dogma. An analogy: If a religious person says that they believe their deceased mother is watching over them from heaven, even if you're a die-hard atheist, the decent thing to do is to say "yes, I'm sure she is" instead of "your mother is dead and rotting in the ground." Saying "Titus was just telling me about his new foster dog" instead of "This woman who's calling herself, get a load of this, Titus, was just telling me about her new foster dog" is the same sort of thing.

Edited to add that I won't use "preferred pronouns" for children. If you're an adult and you've chosen to pursue transition, I can make reasonable concessions to avoid causing you psychological distress. But I refuse to do anything that sanctions or normalizes childhood transition.