Both: How do you feel about pronouns? Are they are a courtesy or a right?

submitted by worried19 from self.GCdebatesQT

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[–]worried19[S] 19 insightful - 1 fun19 insightful - 0 fun20 insightful - 1 fun -  (4 children)

I'm fine with using preferred pronouns, but I consider them a courtesy, not a right. I will happily use them for adults as long as they are acting in good faith. However, I don't feel comfortable using them for children.

Gender-neutral pronouns bother me because society has gotten to the point where GNC people are automatically "theyed" by others. Back on the old sub, we had a teacher who posted that she pulled aside a 14 year old GNC girl and asked her for her pronouns. This is harmful and regressive and seems to be happening far more often than not. Feminine women are never assumptively called "they," only masculine ones.

[–]DistantGlimmer 14 insightful - 1 fun14 insightful - 0 fun15 insightful - 1 fun -  (2 children)

Gender-neutral pronouns bother me because society has gotten to the point where GNC people are automatically "theyed" by others. Back on the old sub, we had a teacher who posted that she pulled aside a 14 year old GNC girl and asked her for her pronouns. This is harmful and regressive and seems to be happening far more often than not. Feminine women are never assumptively called "they," only masculine ones.

That's a very good point. Assuming people have a different pronoun than their biological sex is harmful especially for kids.

[–]worried19[S] 8 insightful - 1 fun8 insightful - 0 fun9 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

I was really upset that the person in question thought it was no big deal. She's an authority figure basically telling a child that there is good reason to believe that she is not of her biological sex.

In an ideal world, I would be fine with "they" for everyone, but I doubt things will ever go in that direction. The English language is gendered and people are too used to "he" and "she" to give them up. Even if we did collectively decide to throw them out, it's not like it would solve the problem of misogyny. It's still clear at a glance which adults are male and which adults are female, even if they're all calling themselves "they."

[–]DistantGlimmer 4 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 0 fun5 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Yes. I wasn't thinking of getting rid of biosex pronouns but just having a third one to get people to notice gender less in daily social interactions. (or we can just keep using singular "they" I guess but it is kind of awkward.)