Both: What toxic gender beliefs have you successfully unlearned?

submitted by worried19 from self.GCdebatesQT

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[–]worried19[S] 5 insightful - 1 fun5 insightful - 0 fun6 insightful - 1 fun -  (4 children)

Same here. I was very male-identified as a child and to some extent continue to be that way as an adult. When I was young, I didn't look down on girls, at least not consciously. But I definitely had it in my mind that I was not really one of them. I never outright denied my sex, but I was happy to let people think I was a boy. I never minded being called "he." I'd tell my friends I was not a "real girl" or not a "regular girl" and thought of myself as "almost a boy." Whatever boys had, I wanted. In fact, I demanded.

It was really only after finding GC thought that I fully accepted that I am a woman with no qualifications. And even now, the word "woman" sometimes puts me a little on edge. I still want to distance myself from other women, even though I know it's not healthy. I'm sure it will be a lifelong struggle.

[–]DogeWalker 5 insightful - 1 fun5 insightful - 0 fun6 insightful - 1 fun -  (3 children)

Yes, this is a good description for a lot of my experiences, as well.

When I was young, I didn't look down on girls, at least not consciously. But I definitely had it in my mind that I was not really one of them.

Definitely this. Despite feeling strongly distanced from womanhood and other women, I used to feel that it was mutual in some way, like an unspoken pact... Like, let me consign myself to the "androgynous oddball" space over here, and not try to align myself with womanhood at all, in order to avoid bothering the "normal" women who better fit the mold of "real" womanhood.

It was really only after finding GC thought that I fully accepted that I am a woman with no qualifications. And even now, the word "woman" sometimes puts me a little on edge. I still want to distance myself from other women, even though I know it's not healthy. I'm sure it will be a lifelong struggle.

Same. I re-discovered radical feminism and really re-identified myself with womanhood a couple years ago. But I am still quite masculine in appearance, so for that and other reasons, I struggle with that feeling of being distanced. It probably will be a lifelong thing, but it's a boost to know I'm not the only one.

[–]worried19[S] 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (2 children)

Yeah, we have a lot in common. Are you from the old sub? If you're new, nice to meet you.

It probably will be a lifelong thing, but it's a boost to know I'm not the only one.

It really saddens me to know that young girls like we were are being encouraged to disconnect themselves from womanhood. So many kids think they're the only GNC person in the world, and now when they are finally old enough to find their tribe, they find that the tribe has disappeared.

[–]DogeWalker 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

Yes, I was on the debate sub on reddit for not quite a year. Picked a new username here, just because paranoia seems to be trendy here on saidit ;)

It really saddens me to know that young girls like we were are being encouraged to disconnect themselves from womanhood. So many kids think they're the only GNC person in the world, and now when they are finally old enough to find their tribe, they find that the tribe has disappeared.

I know what you mean. Based on my own experiences, I completely understand those stats about ROGD and how it's disproportionately affecting girls and young women... there's so much pressure to conform on one hand, and now on the other, there's extreme trans activism telling you to just abandon womanhood.

[–]worried19[S] 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Nice to re-meet you, then!

What confuses me is why the mainstream can't see what's happening to teenage girls. I feel like people are starting to wake up, but it's slow going. It's a known fact that young girls are susceptible to social pressures and social contagion. The doctors promoting medical treatment of female minors are aware of how common it's becoming, so they either don't care or have their own agendas to promote.

But it baffles me that the mainstream has been convinced to take a child's word at face value. I just found out that a 15 year old child performer on a popular TV show is trans and appears to be on hormones. The show's character "came out" and then so did the actor, or perhaps it was the other way around. What had been a GNC girl character was suddenly transformed into a trans boy. And no one in this child's life or anyone involved in the show even had the slightest doubt about affirming this?