Can you please join me in my effort to pray for u/211

submitted by Titanic from self.AskSaidIt

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[–]ActuallyNot 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (14 children)

Or maybe prayer doesn't work, and if you want to do some good in the world, you have to get off your knees and actually do something yourself.

That's the most likely because the data doesn't support some prayers working, and god getting upset at being tested and so letting people suffer instead is too fragile an ego for the omniscient and all powerful. As well as being too spiteful for the all loving.

[–]Cantbot 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (13 children)

If prayer doesn't work, then why did I find a penny on the way to work this morning after staying up praying to God all night that I wouldn't have to go to the office and see that fucking kike hag secretary Peggy's face after she rudely rejected my offer of a Dos Equis and a film at my abode?

[–]ActuallyNot 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (12 children)

Don't know. But say "hi" to penny for me.

The study only shows that praying for other people doesn't affect their health, (or fertility). Praying for a penny may work.

[–]Cantbot 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (11 children)

Well figure it out please!! GOSH

[–]ActuallyNot 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (10 children)

Nah, I need too many people to pray and not pray for a penny. And with opportunities like that, how would you prevent the control group from praying for a penny and not telling you about it?

The study is impossible to design.

You need something that people don't want for themselves so that you know that the control group won't cheat. Like peace in the middle east or the end of famines in Africa or South East Asia. I assume from the way that's not better now after the better part of 100 years that no one has prayed for any improvement in that.

[–]Cantbot 1 insightful - 2 fun1 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 2 fun -  (9 children)

I assume from the way that's not better now after the better part of 100 years that no one has prayed for any improvement in that.

Exactly!! God, like who even cares about those curry-eating sand monkeys anyway?

Glad I've got you on my side.

But for realsies, say anything blasphemous again and my wife will turn your nipples into cufflinks.

[–]ActuallyNot 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (8 children)

say anything blasphemous again and my wife will turn your nipples into cufflinks.

oooh! ahem:

"Riding into Jerusalem on two donkeys is really difficult to picture."

[–]Cantbot 1 insightful - 2 fun1 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 2 fun -  (7 children)

Ever heard of the splits? God, the people on this website are so low IQ

[–]ActuallyNot 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (6 children)

https://rarebible.files.wordpress.com/2017/04/jesus_2_donkeys.png

He wasn't doing the splits. He was sitting:

“Tell the daughter of Zion, Look, your king is coming to you, humble and mounted on a donkey, and on a colt, the foal of a donkey.”

6 The disciples went and did as Jesus had directed them; 7 they brought the donkey and the colt and put their cloaks on them, and he sat on them.

[–]Cantbot 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (5 children)

Now that's holy. I'm going to fly it on a flag outside my home.