Maybe you saw me after I got food poisoning in Amsterdam. There was so much blood coming out my ass it would be enough to fool anyone into thinking it was a period. I may have even skipped to a bathroom at one point in order to balance speed with the ability to keep my butthole shut. Sometime a little shart would sneak up on me though and I'd be like, "oh heyyy!".

So you see, this is probably just a big misunderstanding. Don't be a judgy little bitch.