God does not hate you. He put me in your path, and I have tried to encourage you, and I have prayed for you specifically. He wouldn't allow me to talk to you if he condemned you. The Lord judges no one. God's fundamental nature is love, but because he is also a God of justice, he hates sin, and all sin must be atoned for.

Esau is not only the name of a single man, but the name of a nation. Esau is Edom. Similarly, Jacob became Israel, which is a nation. God destroys nations that have exceeded their bounds. America is Babylon, and will also be destroyed because its sins are the worst of any nation. And yet he does not hate Americans, the individuals, but loves them. During the destruction of the nation, it may appear that God hates the people, but he is destroying the sin, and there are a few that will repent and turn to Jesus before it is too late.

You have free will, which God will never take away from you. The enemy of your soul can put in you in bondage, if you let him, and then you will feel compelled to do things that are hurtful to yourself.... suicidal thoughts. The enemy of your soul has not been allowed to kill you, but if he can convince you to do his dirty work for him, then he wins. Yet your soul will never cease to exist, so suicide does not give any peace, but actually makes the torments worse.