Who are you saving?

submitted by Oyveygoyim from (files.catbox.moe)

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[–]NastyWetSmear 4 insightful - 2 fun4 insightful - 1 fun5 insightful - 2 fun -  (0 children)

Okay, hear me out...

I'm saving Hitler. Not because I think he's the best person there, or because I think he deserves to be saved, but because he's meant to be dead. Either there's a basically innocent man in this house fire who looks exactly like Hitler and probably already has a hard enough life... Though he could choose a different hair cut and facial hair and lessen the impact on himself... Or Hitler is alive, eternally young and in this room, in which case I'm going to be RICH! And maybe discover the secret to immortality!

If it's just for the sake of the hypothetical and I shouldn't consider the unusual circumstances under which a young, healthy Hitler is in this room, then do I have to choose? Can I just quietly shut the door and call the fire department?

[–]AriShekelsteinDDS 3 insightful - 4 fun3 insightful - 3 fun4 insightful - 4 fun -  (0 children)

Sam Smith. Not because I care about him. But I’d be worried when his body starts to burn, the grease fire from all that fat could cause the fire to spread and catch other people’s houses on fire.

[–]package 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Do I have to save any of them?

[–]RedditButt 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I'll only have time for myself once I barricade the door shut so the others can't get out.

[–]Titanic 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

Dylan Mulvaney. I feel like an exorcism could probably cure him.

[–]Oyveygoyim[S] 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Of course you'd save a child molesting faggot.

[–]tiny-brown-mug 0 insightful - 1 fun0 insightful - 0 fun1 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Dylan Mulvaney. Part of me feels bad for the guy. I feel like he's basically a feminine, self-hating gay guy who got sucked into this trans nonsense, and got piled on simply for saying "yes" to an offer to promote some beer. Not his fault. The fault of the silly woman who approached him to promote a blue-collar, Hank Hill kind of product.