Can I rant about sex work for a moment? (self-repost)

submitted by madnessinamerica from (self.whatever)

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[–][deleted] 4 insightful - 3 fun4 insightful - 2 fun5 insightful - 3 fun -  (7 children)

Children doing this is another category for me. Definitely not the same thing. That is why this should be done behind closed doors by adults, as i wrote.

Children only have access to this because some parents rather spend their "free" time attention whoring on some social network (or doing other useless shit) than actually caring for what their children do in front of some smart device or computer in this moment. When i look at some parenting done it looks to me like some parents use tablets e.g. like a pacifier for their kids. This is just wrong imo.

When i have kids they won't get access to these kind of things before they are twelve and even only then with supervision. My queen completely agrees with me on this one.

[–]Comatoast 4 insightful - 2 fun4 insightful - 1 fun5 insightful - 2 fun -  (3 children)

I'm not sure when you were born, but I'll guess that it was some time in the early-mid 90s gauging by your discussions.

I was born in 85. We didn't have access to the internet at 10 in the same way that it's presented now, but we certainly had access to eachother. As neighborhood children gather together, they naturally talk about everything that goes on behind closed doors. While some parents that are sexually active pretend that a closed door prevents children from being able to hear them arguing and fucking, the reality is that's not true. There was also scrambled porn, someone's dad or uncle that lived nearby with a poorly hidden porn stash, and my favorite of all time.. finding porn mags out in the woods. Children are curious by nature, and it's stupid to assume that taking away internet access is going to prevent them from finding or talking about porn or adult sexual encounters with their peers.

[–][deleted] 3 insightful - 3 fun3 insightful - 2 fun4 insightful - 3 fun -  (2 children)

Yeah, well thanks. I'm older than you think. Lets say i was born in the beginning of the 80s.

I will raise my kids more or less in a house in the woods where i first will get to know all the neighbours (after the house has been built beginning this winter). Of course i will talk to them about this. Imo it is not even about cutting them off from reality between adults fully. It is about giving them gradually access to this and especially talking about things like this. By turning this into secrets it maybe gets more interesting to children in the first place. By letting them explore this world alone without talking about this you give them the chance to get a wrong picture. So why should you when you can do way better by investing some time ?

[–]Comatoast 5 insightful - 2 fun5 insightful - 1 fun6 insightful - 2 fun -  (1 child)

Ok, even if you get to know all of the neighbors you're not going to know their personal business or what their own children have access to.

You can gradually discuss it, but if they've had talks with other kids at all (this is terrible in public and private school systems) then they're probably going to know already beforehand.

Look. I can tell you now that we have all of these beautiful dreams about exactly what sort of parents we are going to be, and we're ready to retort back to anyone who already has children with judgement aplenty and talks about how we would do things differently. Unless you live in a controlled bubble environment,it's impossible. I will wish you luck on it, either way.

[–][deleted] 2 insightful - 3 fun2 insightful - 2 fun3 insightful - 3 fun -  (0 children)

I'll try my best. But without a plan there can be no goal. You surely see that.

Of course i can't control everything. I don't even want to. I teached for too long to not know this.

But i will have a say in what picture my children get of these things. A lot of fear and hate on different genders, ways to have "sex" and this stuff in younger people comes because it was such a big secret or "non-topic" in their own childhood, imho. I will at least try to mitigate this.

[–][deleted] 3 insightful - 3 fun3 insightful - 2 fun4 insightful - 3 fun -  (2 children)

Twelve? Lol you got it all figured out I guess. I never met a twelve year old who could look at porn and come away free of any strange conceptions concerning sex and romance. Maybe yours will be different.

Just wondering, did you grow in this tech-filled world? Or are you too old to have been caught in the computer/smartphone web?

[–][deleted] 2 insightful - 2 fun2 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 2 fun -  (1 child)

I had a whole (2m * 4m) wall full of index cards figuring out the education of my offspring and how to do this somewhat reasonable. I had long nights of debate with my queen only concerning this topic to find some consensus in this . :)

Since i was a freelance teacher for a long time on a private school and still am at an university i tried to steer this one around all the bullshit parenting i saw first-hand in my life including my own. Of course i cannot take every worst case scenario into consideration but i can assure you i gave my best.

Maybe we'll start with soft-porn. :-D

Robert Frost is also an option.