Dog poverty is a growing societal problem. Just the other day I saw on two separate street corners I saw dogs panhandling. One had an obviously homemade cardboard sign which read, "Hungry and homeless, will sniff your crotch for $". The other was a dirty, unshaven pit bull that angrily barked at motorists who ignored the sad display.

It was at this point where it occurred to me that we need to pay serious reparations to our Canine-Americans for the ongoing slavery known as "pet ownership" as well as deliberate political disenfranchisement. Every pooch can have his election day and vote Democrat like a good dog, which is his civic responsibility.

I say our animal lovers (Platonic and otherwise) in Washington need to mount this issue doggy-style and establish a new bureaucracy dedicated to the cause of canine rights because #DogLivesMatter