my ex is an emotionally (and sexually) abusive tim and im constantly shamed for talking about my experiences with her because of transphobia, heres a fun example

submitted by anonybutch from (imgur.com)

all 10 comments
sorted by:
top
newinsightfulfun

[–]zephyranthes 28 insightful - 1 fun28 insightful - 0 fun29 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Him. Him. Him. Him. He. He. Him. He. Also block rapists, block rape enablers, get help, and get restraining orders if they persist.

[–]kwallio 24 insightful - 1 fun24 insightful - 0 fun25 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I would block both of them and move on. You don't need this type of energy in your life.

[–]LilianH 19 insightful - 1 fun19 insightful - 0 fun20 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Can you report them to someone? Because this is bullying behaviour.

[–]SnowAssMan 19 insightful - 1 fun19 insightful - 0 fun20 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Why do I get the feeling it's the ex talking? Especially at "Ex already told me your schedule"

[–]anonybutch[S] 16 insightful - 1 fun16 insightful - 0 fun17 insightful - 1 fun -  (2 children)

a little more background i guess? im a butch lesbian. we dated in high school. i probably shouldnt say her name but my ex goes by she/they pronouns. when she still identified as a guy we were pretty good friends (best friends?) despite her anger issues.

i live in a really conservative place and i really really trusted her. at this point i was a closeted lesbian and NOBODY knew. one day (when she still identified as a boy) she asked me out.

i told her then and there that i was a lesbian, and before i even got to finish she came out as a trans woman right there. she said, and i quote, "you love females so that means you'd love me if i was a female"

and being the stupid teenager i was i said yes. we dated for quite a while but the first red flag came when we had a date at the movie theater. we went to see detective pikachu when it first came out and when the movie was over she took me into the bathroom and wanted me to give her a blowjob. i IMMEDIATELY reacted negatively and was strongly against it. ultimately she didnt get what she wanted but she never let me live it down and told all her friends (who are a pretty liberal/lgbt friendly friendgroup) about how i was transphobic for not going down on her IN PUBLIC ON OUR FIRST DATE.

this "transphobia" thing became routine, if i didnt do what she wanted i was transphobic and EVERYONE had to know that i was emotionally abusive, reduced trans people to their genitals, etc.

i called it quits after about 1 year of dating and she still fucking creeps me out. we havent talked in ages but by god if i walk by she'll whip out her phone and take pictures of me, follow me around, etc.

[–]zephyranthes 22 insightful - 2 fun22 insightful - 1 fun23 insightful - 2 fun -  (0 children)

His. He. His. Him. He. He. HIm. He. He. He. Him. He. He. He. His. Him. He. He. He. His.

Actually, nevermind.

It.

Get a restraining order against this thing.

[–]reluctant_commenter 13 insightful - 1 fun13 insightful - 0 fun14 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Hey, from another lesbian-- I am so, so, so sorry all this happened to you. I have also been pressured to have sex against my will (sometimes the perpetrator was unsuccessful). Please understand, NONE of this was your fault. I'm proud of you for escaping a coercive relationship with this aggressive person.

i called it quits after about 1 year of dating and she still fucking creeps me out. we havent talked in ages but by god if i walk by she'll whip out her phone and take pictures of me, follow me around, etc.

This is called stalking and harrassment. Do you see him ("her") at work or school or college or something still? You are fully within your rights to report this to the police and get a restraining order.

edit: Also please feel free to message me if you want to talk more, and/or post on other subreddits for support, e.g. s/lgbdropthet.

[–][deleted]  (2 children)

[deleted]

    [–][deleted] 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

    ackchyually "no" is not a complete sentence. It's the end of the conversation if you are conversing with respectful and healthy people, but it's not grammatically a sentence by itself.

    The tone and message of what you're saying is correct, but saying "no is a complete sentence" is exceptionally annoying because it's not true.

    [–]ArthnoldManacatsaman 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

    but it's not grammatically a sentence by itself.

    Why?

    [–]Athelhilda2 7 insightful - 1 fun7 insightful - 0 fun8 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

    Get a restraining order against this person. He isn't going to stop.