Hey, from another lesbian-- I am so, so, so sorry all this happened to you. I have also been pressured to have sex against my will (sometimes the perpetrator was unsuccessful). Please understand, NONE of this was your fault. I'm proud of you for escaping a coercive relationship with this aggressive person.

i called it quits after about 1 year of dating and she still fucking creeps me out. we havent talked in ages but by god if i walk by she'll whip out her phone and take pictures of me, follow me around, etc.

This is called stalking and harrassment. Do you see him ("her") at work or school or college or something still? You are fully within your rights to report this to the police and get a restraining order.

edit: Also please feel free to message me if you want to talk more, and/or post on other subreddits for support, e.g. s/lgbdropthet.