When Men Behave Badly—A Review. Researchers found an association between mens chosen targets and women’s self-reported frequency of having been sexually victimized in the past. This suggests that women suffering from unwanted sexual encounters inadvertently emit cues that predatory males can detect.

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[–]InvoluntaryHalibut 3 insightful - 2 fun3 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 2 fun -  (4 children)

So I guess I feel like, why should you have the expectation of not having anyone look at your boobs?

We are beginning to police which direction the eyeballs in peoples heads are pointing. Was this really an assualt? A psychologically abusive experience? Or a minor annoyance? Men are biologically programmed to look at boobs.

At what point did women come to expect that it was their right never to have a man oogle their boobs except for the exact moment women deemed it okay? This is nuts.

If you are a child or a mentally child-like adult, maybe you should have this consideration. But if you believe you are an equal of men psychologically then a look is nothing.

I am asking you to disregard some of the notions we were trained with, that any sexual signals from men are somehow a violation and that all these scenarios demand policing.

Muslims solve this problem by never allowing females to be alone with strange men. They have females hide their entire form under sheets. They feel women are like children that can’t be trusted not to be manipulated by strange men. They don’t expect women to be responsilble for their own sexual behavior. They just keep them on lockdown.

We got rid of monogamy and a lot of the old rules that would have prevented some of the sexual conflicts we see now. Women —feminists— demand explicitly that they be treated equally, but in reality they are expecting implicitly special privileged treatment. Men are held to Victorian sexual standards while women are not held to any standards at all. Its madness.

[–]Airbus320 2 insightful - 2 fun2 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 2 fun -  (1 child)

Islam is right about females :)

[–]InvoluntaryHalibut 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I actually don’t agree.

https://www.discovermagazine.com/mind/monogamous-societies-superior-to-polygamous-societies

The polygamous “package” of societal traits is a shit show IMO.

[–][deleted] 1 insightful - 2 fun1 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 2 fun -  (1 child)

why should you have the expectation of not having anyone look at your boobs?

Nearly everyone looks at boobs. Hell, I've been accidentally obvious when seeing a woman with obvious breast implants.

Was this really an assualt? A psychologically abusive experience? Or a minor annoyance? Men are biologically programmed to look at boobs.

No. It WAS, however, extremely unprofessional and became increasingly uncomfortable as the visit went on. I mean, damn.. he did it once-- you got your eyeful Buddy--move back on the the visit. I understand doing it once, but we have the gift of peripheral vision and therefore subtlety. I also fully well understand that men evolved with the ability to control themselves along with their sexual urges. As I'm there for a follow-up visit that I paid out of pocket for-- a service, am married, have expressed zero interest, and am not there to hop directly onto his dick, I don't see why you or him would find this to be appropriate at all. Equal treatment in this regard doesn't really have a match. I guess I could have ogled the baggy crotch region of his pants? This isn't Victorian levels of standards, this is an expectation of self control that I've watched plenty of men be capable of showing.

Muslim men solve this with abuse, neglect, and FGM, while keeping their women in those bedsheets. They're not seen as children, they're seen as property and baby machines. This wasn't always the case though, or at least not enforcing the dress code. Their culture has regressed significantly, and they're not even comparable to any Western cultures at all-- it's not a great comparison.

[–]InvoluntaryHalibut 1 insightful - 2 fun1 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 2 fun -  (0 children)

It depends on how strict your definition of appropriate is. And I didnt observe the event. But Im not inclined to assume this was harrassment or unethical behavior. I consider looking but not touching to be control. I think that it may be difficult for some men to control where they look. Staring at boobs could be considered impolite, but again Im not convinced he was aware of doing it in an excessive way.

When I say psychologically the equal of men, I dont mean mimicking men’s behavior and staring at their crotch. I mean that if you can determine that this person is not behaving threateningly, does not mean to seduce you or blackmail you in to sex, and is not intentionally trying to make you uncomfortable then you can dismiss it a quirk of male biology than men are programmed to ogle and sometimes find it hard to conceal.

But staring at boobs seems like a fairly non-threatening behavior. We keep ratcheting up the definition of appropriate. Everybody is zero tolerance everything. And it is absolutely having an effect on our freedoms.

I can’t help but notice that as women gain a larger and larger share of decision making positions, we are increasingly being mommy-ed and monitored for whether we cause hurt feelings. But the world is full of hurt feelings and inappropriateness but we dont have to “do something” about all of it. I think we need a bit more benign neglect in the area of sexual harassment.

After the Me too movement, Im just not inclined to take any accusation of sexual harassment seriously. Its become completely incentivized.

The differences between a patrilineal polygamist society like islam and a patrilineal monogamist society are interesting and , it turns out, genetic. Polygamist societies tend to reward sexual agressiveness as well as violence with reproductive success. Patrilineality demands that males who care for their offspring can ensure their paternity. Hence guarding of females.

In monogamist societies males still have to ensure their own paternity, but males are also sexually restricted. So male traits that are favored in monogamy are lower violence and lower sexual agression. In addition females enjoy higher status because sole wives have more clout over their men.

Unfortunately America and Europe stopped being monogamist societies about 50 years ago so its a matter of time before white males lose that set of monogamist behavioral traits. Males with polygamist traits will be favored in a wild west anything goes sort of regime. All these behaviors are genetic and make sense within certain environmental contexts. Eventually the bill will come due

“The puzzle of monogamous marriage”

https://royalsocietypublishing.org/doi/10.1098/rstb.2011.0290